Luke Bryan and Florida Georgia Line said it best... but learning to roll with life is a skill and definitely one of my Top 365.
Letting Go
Learning to Roll means letting go of the past hurts and problems and moving on to a better future. It means taking the time to heal from conflicts with friends, family members, and the world in general and not getting stuck in the process. It means forgiving others and most of all yourself for indiscretions, miscommunications, and errors in judgment.
Develop Grit
Developing grit is the ability to build that firm line and persevere. It is strength. Some people get it early in life and some people get it late. Some have it and lose it for awhile and then get it back. It is having the maturity to know when to let go and when to hang on. It is not letting defeats get in the way of your ultimate plan and mission, whether personal or professional. It is resilience. Some get it naturally and can roll and some of us have to roll in it before we can roll on.
Strong in the Weakest Places
Strong in the weakest places means that the place where we have the most vulnerability is where we are able to stand the strongest. It is getting past the pain of the hurt and being able to withstand and move on. It is pain from early loss and fear of rejection coming back to smack us in the face again. It carries one through, controls one, and sometimes almost breaks one... but it is the memory of happy times, fun times, people's perceptions of home, that allow us to roll on.
Childlike Wonder
That childlike wonder of trying something new. Believing that prince charming will come and that you will always be protected. Trusting in the security of God and faith and knowing that the sun will come up tomorrow and all will persevere. Knowing that Life is Good and that sometimes the hardest lessons come when we need to change the most.
Forgiveness
Forgiving those who hurt us, intentionally or non-intentionally. Understanding that people do what they do with best intentions in mind and that although evil intent does exist, most people react because of habit or lack of knowledge of a different reality or because the situation simply was not right.
Not Hanging On
Letting go is physically letting go. Not hanging on is the ability to not ruminate about the problem, to get strong, to forget about it. The bigger the problem, the harder to let go. The deeper the hurt, the harder to let go. The longer the consequence, the harder to let go. Not hanging on means moving on and getting out the mindset (and sometimes the environment) that brought on the pain. It means faking it till you make it. It means looking out for opportunities to connect with others and reaching out. It means becoming strong and empowered. It sometimes means letting go of traditions and people and knowing that no matter how painful, the sun does come up tomorrow.
Victim
Some of us like to play the victim and this is not a good way to roll. Victim means not letting go and moving on. Victim means becoming angry and fixing blame and seeking revenge or curling up and giving up. Victim means not fighting back with righteous indignation and instead fighting back with fear. To victim is to wallow. Victim can only visit for awhile. Then it has to go away. Instead a victor comes into place in the form of a survivor. Victim means someone did it to me and how dare they and poor, poor me. Survivor means someone did it to me, oh yes they did, but it will not consume me. Survivor means the day of reckoning will arrive and we do not have to control it. Survivor means that it happened and is a part of me but it does not define me.
Stages of Recovery
Some people go through the recovery process quietly and then quickly move on. Some of us do it with drama and flamboyance. We posture and we post and we systemize the process. Either is ok. The quiet ones do it and move on because they feel the anger and they lash back and move on. The loud ones do it and they feel the anger and theorize it and move on.
Snowball Down the Mountain
Recovery comes closer to those who do not have layers of unresolved issue. For those who do not, the process is quick, get it over and move on because there are more important things to do in life than wallow over past hurts. For those who have past issues and esp for those who carry a lot of guilt, shame, and anger, moving on takes more time. The issues have to be resolved. For sensitive temperaments, this can become unbearable and an invitation to fall into victim role. Dealing and grit keeps us from becoming a perpetual victim. They say it is like a snowball rolling down the mountain, the more baggage, the bigger the snowball becomes as it collects the snow. It is about trusting that letting go is the best answer and that the new reality will be better.
If we cannot manage to work through them, they manifest into a negative persona. For some they manifest in addiction, for some in isolation. People lose their joy and happiness. We have to roll on. We cannot get stuck. We have to roll on and let it go. Life is short and fun. It is finding outlets to enjoy, reading, writing, listening, speaking. It is forming a plan and making it happen. It is about surrounding oneself with happy.
After 50
Rolling after 50 is harder. It is the time to know that you are on the last half. Things become more tender, sensitive, and vital. Although the best recourse is to roll on and throw caution to the wind, it is harder. It is finding oneself again and rolling on into a new being. It is letting go of who you were, building a career and following a linear path. It is scary when it all comes to a halt, with no security in place, but it can be invigorating. A chance to start anew, meet new friends, build new relationships, try new things. It is harder for those who obtain self worth through actions. When the security base goes and the illusion of who we were based on what we did is suddenly yanked out from under us, it is harder to go on. But it is possible. It is possible because we still have all of the above and we still have that impish, eager little kid inside who is ready to try new things, conquer the world, and give to others.
55 is the New 21
When 55 becomes the new 21, all of the conventional strings can be dis attached and we can begin again with the spirit of the 21 year old and the wisdom of 55. This is how we roll. We let go of the pain of the past, the shock of the earthquake that hit our life, and we roll as a new person. We stay strong and change our mindset and we know that nothing is sacred in life, we have to go for the gusto everyday, and this is how we roll. We don't look back, we look forward and we roll on and add even more chapters. And when all else fails, we can always listed in Luke Bryan and Georgia Florida Line (or any of their colleagues) cause between Broadway and country music, there is always a new tomorrow.
