- During a change process.
- When one is challenged by negativity such as gossip and backbiting.
- When one's personal sense of integrity is challenged.
- When challengers can use one's personal life or history to breakdown and push back.
Change processes require strength and the ability to build a vision and move on that vision. Inherent in the process is conflict, in fact, change breeds conflict. During the process, the old and the new must merge into a new reality and for those who resist, attacks on the integrity of the leader, his or her motives and initiatives often challenge one's integrity and ability to persevere. It is at this time that personal strength and vision, as well as personal integrity enable the individual to move past the negative and keep focusing on the future. One female superintendent I interviewed phrased it like this, " I don't read the blogs and I don't take things personally". One cannot ignore politics or they will sock one in the face. One also cannot allow political strategies to control. Having personal integrity means keeping face in light of difficult circumstances. For the change leader, this can be a daily occurrence. The key is to remember one's origin, one's beliefs, and those who will benefit the most from one's leadership.
Gossip and Backbiting
Gossip and backbiting, whether personal or professional, also challenge one's integrity. Some come with thicker skins than others. Gossip and backbiting and those who partake of it, are usually experiencing personal pain. Gossip is not truth. One who must challenge another through such means is usually wounded and often angry and looking for a place to put it. Or they believe the gossip and communication of other's personal information is their moral imperative. Nonetheless, being the target of gossip and backbiting can be challenging to a leader and also challenge one to become defensive and lash back. This is where maintaining integrity and professionalism (or personal self control) become even more imperative. This is also once again where reading blogs and comments can enable one to know the opposition, but can also cause pain and a need to defend oneself. There is no defense for gossip. Direct and open communication is the best answer to discussing alleged skeletons in the closet or alleged indecretions. Those who tell tales and gossip are usually weak and looking for some power. If the issue is not brought face to face, it is not worth the discussion. The leader is best to lay low, maintain personal integrity, and not feel the need to defend unless direct communication is offered. Nonetheless, gossip can kill a career or a family if left to fester. The key is to strive to function in an environment which is healthy and to be open to discuss openly any such topics. If not, there is no real recourse than to maintain integrity, let the gossip run its course and accept the situation for what it is.
Personal Attacks
Direct hits to one's personal integrity is also a challenge. This is not the behind the scenes challenge to one's integrity through storytelling or incorrect information, this is the direct personal attack toward an individual. Probably easier to take than the backbiting, the personal direct attack is quick and sudden and usually the result of another's anger. Or fear. Leaders who are attacked personally and publicly have the prerogative to respond with an explanation or to take the high road and let the personal attack float. Usually, an attempt to explain away a personal attack results in more attack and a dialogue which can reach no resolution. Doing this publicly can further damage the leader and make one appear defensive. Best alternative to a personal attack is to take it and let it simmer. Especially in public, it is best to remain stoic and let the attacker have their way. Thank them for their comment and move on. If needed, contact them later in a calmer moment and discuss their situation. Keeping cool and not responding defensively enables one to keep their integrity and not dig into the muck. Usually the end result is positive.
Push Back to Break Others
Also akin to the change process is the challenge of a leader's personal integrity to push back or break one down. This is usually the ploy of politicans when they see they are losing. Or the ploy of people when they see a person of strength. Or the stance of those indoctrinated in a system which does not welcome change. With integrity, one must stay true to self. These agendas are the other person's agenda and problem. One is best to stay quiet, not defend, and not to become embroiled in the conflict. Focus on the positive and keep an eye to goals. Once again, the attack is usually being done to break down strength. One's best recourse is to find a good trustful ear and discuss the situation and then move on. One cannot control the behavior or motives of another. One though can maintain integrity, attempt to understand the pushback, and stay both respectful and open to questions or concerns.
Summary
Always inherent in sitautions that challenge one's ability for self control and maintenance of integrity is the tendency to feel victimized. This is a natural reaction that one must allow to come and go and not linger. Putting oneself in high profile positions where change and political ramifications are bound to happen is the price one pays to be a leader. It is part of the deal. Uusally when one challenges the behavior or processes of another, becomes involved in their personal business, or attempts to attack to break down, the agenda really has nothing to do with the leader but with the attacker.
A leader must always hear concerns and then act according to vision. When people are happy they have no desire to break down others. When people understand the shoes of another, they have no reason to break the other down. Nonetheless, for leaders it happens frequently. One must listen to consitutents and be flexible to change issues, actions, and even beliefs, but the leader must stand behind his or her integrity and personal sense of self. The conflicts are painful, hurtful, and at times result in negative consequences. Nonetheless, at the end of the day one keeps their inner sense of self, a calm demeanor, and a knowledge that people or outcomes cannot be controlled. One can only maintain oneself. Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Idealism and a belief in the good of other people will always persevere. Coupled with a listening ear and discernment in decision making, a leader can make the change process work, can build an endearing community, and can function with transparency and trust. No leader can get to leadership without blunders, being misunderstood, or being the target of gossip and attacks. It comes with the territory. Personal integrity, openness when questioned appropriately, and a positive vision will keep the flow going and minimize the risks. All else is just fodder for negativity.
