God

God is a part of My Top 365. He is the Top. He keeps me humble. He holds me up when things go awry. He has embedded me with the Holy Spirit whose quiet promptings keep me focused, give me hints when I have gone too far, keep me level when my tendency to overwork and then become prideful take over.

Perhaps it is because I never had children of my own, but I sometimes think the immature side of me takes over when I attempt to become coy and make cute comments which often comes away as sarcastic and downright rude. I do this as a form of endearment but often forget that other people do not know me like I know me. My friends and family know my sense of humor but  the teasing behavior with new friends and folks can seem a bit too much. This is one way that God helps me to put on the brakes and slow down.

Another way that God helps me is to keep reminding me why I am here. Not of my own doing or because of anything I have done or created, but because He has a plan for my life and I am His to run this plan. I really do believe in the power of the Big Book in the Sky with our life road set out. I also believe that our faith is tested, not because God wants us to feel pain or Suck Up, but because he wants us to become strong in Him. It is at these times that the immature me comes through again and I start to have the Big Pity Party. Then I realize that I need to Suck it UP because God is in control and the plan is bigger than me.

Some people think that God is not real or that faith is a joke. I am not one to wrangle philosophy or religiosity. I do believe that our biggest Mission is the life we lead every day and the model we show to other people. I also know from experience that other people get offended by someone who follows the rules. It is usually because they need to the validation that they are right or at times are turned off by the goodness. Oftentimes what is really introversion and shyness comes off as aloofness. I have always known myself to be the person who needs to have a "reason" to be a part of the mass  in order to feel comfortable. An example, put me at a party and give me a job to do so I feel comfortable. Or let me be behind the bar so I serve others to participate. It is my personality and at times I think I seem anti social but I cannot do small talk really well. I think we all have areas of weakness and strength and I rely on God to get me through those tough situations where I feel extremely uncomfortable and do not know how to interact.

God is good. He reaches out to all and He gives us what we can do to make the world a better place now and forever. I think our biggest challenge in life is to be all we can be every day for the good of God. Influence the good. Build for a better tomorrow. I also think that God loves everyone. That empathy has to come through even with the roughest of people. God does not judge and He expects us to reach out and be the support that people need. Consequences are consequences yet God can warm even the hardest of hearts.

Knowing that even the hardest of hearts, the most violent people are wounded inside can give us a chance to make a difference. That is where the real challenge comes because it is easy to reach out to the status quo. It is the hardened people who need our hearts. I think when times are tough and we are vulnerable it is easy to turn to God. It is when things get better that our true faith is tested. Thus prison ministry and working with those in vulnerable situations involves a mission of keeping the faith afloat when life or circumstances become better. This is where perseverance and faith collide.

I have always been a people person and some would not call me really the model of what a Christian should be. Yet I have a good heart and I do care about people. I think that our maturity level dictates our walk. God turns our head to change when He is ready for us to be stronger. He asks us to cure addictions, turn away from immoral behaviors, and to focus on the good. He also understands that the accountability for the past is just that, past. It does not matter. God wants people today. I think this is the biggest message we can give to people. And I am not a big "religious" person. Non pious I guess. I believe and I want to live right yet I do not judge or try to mold people into an image of what it means to be a "Christian". I think God does that in people's hearts. I need to be supportive and gently nudge myself to be better and support growth in others. If not, the support become enabling and that is not good either.

The least selfish thing we can do is work on ourselves and then use that influence to reach out to others. Non arrogantly because my closet has skeletons just like everyone else. I respect strong confidence and opinions in people. I also know that my faults are big and I have to work on my own confidence and never get prideful. It is the balance of confidence and humbleness. I don't like to be prideful. I am a strong willed person and a people pleaser and sometimes that drives other people crazy. I work on taming this.  That is where compassion comes in.

It is about reaching out and being kind and giving back. I cannot judge people who do not believe in God as I see him but have other deity beliefs. I know many believe that this is wrong but I cannot go there. I think that most people have a Supreme Being that they believe in and I don't think it is my place to judge whether those who call it differently will get to Heaven.

God is My Top 365. He has seen me through more than one tough time and He always keeps me afloat. Where I often fall back is not stepping up to spread his Love to others. So that is my new goal. To give to others the kind of Love and Support that God gives to me and to hopefully bring them along in the Journey through His love. I see a sense of peace and calm in letting God direct. In letting go and letting God. I would like to give that peace of mind to others. That is my new plan and of course God is laughing because He is the Great Planner and He loves my plans. Cause I make a lot of them.

I love my life. I love my family and I love the ability to be broken and then mend. I also think that reaching out to people who are in tough places is our biggest challenge. God show us the truth and the Truth will set us free. Our challenge is to step outside our comfort zone and continue to seek new experiences, experience new truth, meet new people, and not get stuck in a place that may feel safe, but is not reaching out to others. Everyone's commission is different.