Best Laid Plans

Steinbeck wrote the book,  Of Mice and Men and thus coined the phrase, best laid plans of mice and men. Everyone has their own best laid plans. They have to do with family, attention, culture, and filling the spirit whole.

Recently I reached out to others to discover their "best laid plans". Most had to do with goals for the future, having a place to come home to, health, heart, and personal growth. Altruism. Reaching out.  They looked like this:

1. Live in a world with like minded people.
2. Avoid being a workaholic.
3. Find a passion and teach it to others.
4. Work in a way that makes a difference.
5. Frame success based on respect and value.
6. Set strict and relevant daily goals.
7. Stay mindful.
8. Give gratitude.
9. Feed the mind, the body, and the soul daily.
10. Find a happy spot.
11. Hang out with people who respect you.
12. Give as one would take.

Best laid plans change with age. The best laid plans of a 30 year old are different than those of a 40 year old and on up the ladder. Somehow reaching 50 makes a difference. One begins to think less of impressing for personal gain and more of giving for others.  And in the process, one looks to relaxing in self.

Best laid plans are subject to change. This is the hard knock lesson. When one thinks one is invaluable, when one makes decisions based on breaking down instead of building up. Plans change. It is the school of hard knocks. Suddenly one learns that to really be, one has to be kinder, more gentle. Empathetic and understanding. No one likes a bully. When the need to control and overtake becomes stronger than the need to grow and do good, best laid plans go awry.

Best laid plans are multi-faceted and can be diverted by learned helplessness. The common needs:
to grow, to set new goals, to feed the mind and soul everyday, to reach out to others, to save and give back, to take care of self, to inspire, to create. These can go by the wayside if one falls into a pattern of learned helplessness.

Best laid plans will divert the learned helplessness. Having a set schedule. Having a routine. Being mindful. Making each day succinct from the others. Not getting caught in the blob of life without mindful attempts to make each day special. Giving up and giving in. Being a part of the solution and not a part of the problem. Holding oneself to high moral standards.

Best laid plans will encourage health, growth, and soul feeding
People find what they need to make the growth work. This is best laid plans. And it is not easy. It is a deliberate, daily routine grounded in faith.

Best laid plans can change the path
People look for a chance to make a difference. What is it that really motivates the soul? Those are life questions one seems to ask after 50.  Have I moved from a place of giving and teaching and feeding others to a place of pushing paper and fulfilling deadlines? Have I moved from an independent and autonomous free spirit to an executive controlled by deadlines, team building, and chaos? Have I kept or lost the initial drive to reach out and help others? To make every day the best day on earth for the people around me?

Best laid plans have a bottom line
Do I live within my means? Do I have a plan? Are my goals aligned with my potential? Have I become a slave to the high cost of living? Will I become a bag lady (Bag lady syndrome hits after 50).

Best laid plans are generational
Am I meeting the goals set for me by those I look up to? Have I lived to the potential of the people that inspired me? Grew me? Am I keeping a check on my areas of hubris and weakness everyday?  Am I keeping the spiritual goals that were grounded in me early in my life? Do I remember what has enabled me to thrive in times of adversity or pain?

Best laid plans are wake up calls
The best laid wake up call is to reconnect. Reflect.  Am I doing what i planned for myself at this point in my life? What goals do I need to make to keep thriving? Who do I need in my life to feed my soul and my interests? Where did I compromise or fall short? Who did I hurt along the way? Was I justified or am i justifying?

Best laid plans go to the heart
Where is the one that got away? Where does my heart go back to when I think of home? Who are the people who make the most difference for me? How have I handled the losses? Am I holding on to something that is not real and when will I go back or forward or sideways to reframe?

Best laid plans change with grief
Best laid plans come when one can let go of the fear of tomorrow that comes with the constant fear of losing loved ones or one's foothold. Grief and loss can wreak chaos on the soul. Early loss creates crucibles which define one's stature and demeanor. And then when the losses of mid life become more, the snowball can get bigger as it goes down the mountain and the losses add up.  Grief is a natural part of living, yet when the grief becomes too much, something gives. It is the grieving of the person who one was when life was in its prime. It is the grieving of the loss of being the child, the coddled, and the special one when one has to become the strong one, the orphan, the parentless. And it is scary.

Best laid plans are not grounded in duty 

Sitting apart from duty enables one to be creative and let the juices flow. Making mountains of work out of simple tasks is the job of someone who has too much time on their hands. Perfectionism will cause this also. Duty is negative. Moving above duty means finding a happy spot and involving others in the process. Being kind. Having fun. Letting go. Life is too short.

Best laid plans are formed in the car or on the treadmill
Best laid plans come with time for flow. Listening to music in the car or on the treadmill can only up one's game. It is the time for flow. For reflection. For growth.

Best laid plans are not grounded in fear
Did I mention this twice? If so, only because this is so important. Fear paralyzes. Fear is based on shame and old baggage. Healthy fear can protect one from a burglar or a ferocious lion. Paralyzing fear grounded in shame and baggage can only inhibit growth of plans. The antithesis of fear is faith. Faith and childlike wonder enable one to keep going. To look for other avenues for success. To keep a solid line.

Best laid plans enable the good
Best laid plans enable the good. Even when one is in a situation where abuse or control are paramount, best laid plans enable the good. It is the good heart and the good soul, and the positive that can overshoot the negative. It is the ability to reach out and find one's inner core, spiritual center, place of happiness, that enables one to enable the good and overcome the negative. It is the hope and faith of a new beginning, a new book, a new friend, a new movie. It is respecting the foundation and then moving to new adventures.

Best laid plans enable us to wiggle out from under abuse without getting hurt
Best laid plans allow us to maintain a low profile and quietly enjoy life when abusers try to take over. Best laid plans provide a respite and a core foundation grounded in faith and reverence and connection. Best laid plans require us to have composure in the face of needling or subversive actions from those we look to for care. Best laid plans help us find a quiet out for the chaos.

Best laid plans help us to remember to make each day a new day

So many things are on the horizon. Presidential Election. Profiling. Hamilton. The upcoming holidays.  So many books to read and places to go. People who need support. People who want mentoring. People who provide fun. Our best laid plans hold us accountable and responsible for the health and well being of self and others. The rest is an exercise in making each day a new day and a better day. 

When making plans

• Move to a happier place.
• Keep a nice everyday journal
• Clean up, spruce up and declutter.
• Practice positive self care.
• Put people before paper.
• Check in every day.
• Write a to do list for books to read, movies to watch, and classes to take.
• Find that inner zen spot and give to others.
• Identify patterns of learned helplessness and overcome those with faith and connection.
• Know that in all things God is good.