Yesterday I Bought a Fit Bit

Yesterday I bought a Fit Bit. I am so excited to begin this new adventure in tracking and researching how to get fit via a Fit Bit. That is the psychological approach I am using to convince myself that I can begin to resume the fitness routines of my 30's and apply them in my 50's.

Ode to the days of the YMCA in Vandalia and Lynn's step aerobic class. This class was so much fun. Good workout. Fun people. A great way to get fit and also enjoy the music and the people. After I left Vandalia it was never quite the same. History showed an aligned program with Jazzercise and me for a long period of time. Then came the days of administration and time was crazy. And so exercise ran by the wayside. And then the onset of the M word,,, yep... menopause and the stagnant, too tired, effects of not exercising and the body going bonkers.

Job changes. Moves. Meeting the needs of living in California with the highest cost of living in the US sans New York and fulfilling one's dream. Let me see. What were my other excuses? Dissertation. Long commute. Crazy politics at work. Relocating. And that is the truth. We all know the drill. The only one responsible for my success is me. And of course God. But I know that God wants me to be fit so I have to take him out of the equation.

I have a gym membership, belong to WW online, and have no excuse not to follow a plan. I live across the street from the San Francisco Bay and I have a walking and biking path in my front yard. I no longer have a commute. I have flexibility in my job, and I am looking to move to a place that is more economical. I have NO excuse left.

Ha. Recovery literature tells us that we come to our greatest growth when we can stop making excuses, looking outward for blame, and are left with ourselves. And I say this lightly. I am glad I am here. The stress is gone. I have the time and the resources to pursue growth. A new phase. Intellectually. I can retire in five years if I want. I don't plan to do so, but I have the option. I can go back to school and obtain a certificate as an addictions counselor. I can go back to school and obtain a certificate in special education administration. I can go back to school and obtain a certificate in HR administration. I can go back to school and obtain a degree in Applied Behavior Analysis.

I still have my mom. I have my health. I have a good job. I have a happy family. I have reconnected with the relationships of my past. I have no excuses. I can go to San Francisco and see every Broadway musical I wish to see. I can write my blogs everyday. I know that pride comes before a downfall so I know to count my blessings and not get too big for my britches. I have a support system. I know that to effect change one needs to step out and I know that to do so appropriately one needs to follow the Chain of Command and build a team. I know resilience and trust and failure and the pain of putting oneself in a place where one does not belong.

So, now I must do the work necessary to establish an exercise routine that is balanced. And to maintain the pieces of the pie that I have taught to kids for years: spiritual, emotional, physical, mental, financial, and social goals. And to give. It is about giving. Giving to others and reaching out to support, not control.

So my Fit Bit is my reminder, on my wrist everyday of the blessings I can encounter and the blessings I have. My reminder to slow down, be empathetic, listen, understand, and reach out to others. To give back. To be creative. To never take people, time, or blessings for granted.  To know that in a minute things can change and I need to always appreciate and show appreciation. Not out of fear but because of what has been granted to me. To learn to trust that all things come as God directs and that we always end up on our feet if we have faith. Or if you have another Deity then to apply the faith concept there. It is about faith and giving back to others. Not resting on our laurels but doing what we do to help make life better for others.

Who would of thought that the 99.00 purchase can be such a life changer? But it is.

Taking Time for Some Mid Fifty Reflection: Classic Rock Style.

So many influences move us forth in our world. Work family play. The past, the present the future. As time moves on, we see people we know who pass on. We are in the age of our life where we have lost or are losing parents. Joy of seeing kids and grand kids grow. Then we ask, what have I done? what influence can I make?

I am a firm believer that we have a calling. A calling to bring life forward for others. To ensure that our job every day is to provide both joy and support to people. It is probably the teacher in me. Or the waitress in me. Nothing better than a meal well served. Or a lesson well taught. Or a school year well finished. It is the responsibility we have toward and for others. And the system. We look for the silver lining when we live it every day.  God does orchestrate. So my fellow mid fifty friends and colleagues: Let's reflect:

1. How did we fair so well after we visited Stairway to Heaven at our senior prom? What types of heaven on earth have we created for others? How have we given back?

2. Aerosmith taught us to Walk this Way. What way have you walked? Have you managed to balance the needs of self and life and family and friends? Do you still strut your stuff? Cause you should. We are those children of the 70's and our opportunities are endless. Time to dust off. Get out there and make some new memories.

3. Gloria Gaynor gave us optimal strength and foundation in I Will Survive. By now most of us have hit some road blocks: death of loved ones, job failures, problems with kids or finances, or spiritual scarcity.  Yet nevertheless, we learn by this point to roll with things. Nothing is less sacred because we can take it in stride. Those things we fear become less fearful when we experience them and manage to make it through. Never unscathed, but a part of our selves. We blend it into our current reality and we learn to appreciate a little bit more.

4. Bachman Turner Overdrive or as we love to call it (BTO) gave us a chance to "Get up every morning to the alarm clock warning and take the 8:15 into the city", cause we are  Taking Care of Business. We are at the times of our lives. We have our careers intact (well kind of cause if you are like me, I am always looking around the corner for a new experience), families are raised, we are helping our parents, appreciating our siblings, and can finally take the time to travel, read, and binge watch all of the shows we missed. We are taking care of business. Health, exercise, goal setting, and reaching out to others, and maintaining connections keep us focused. We have Facebook to close the loops from the past and to connect our futures, Twitter to express our political viewpoints, and Linked In to keep a connection to the world of growth and self motivation.

5. Mick and Keith taught us, You Can't Always Get What You Want but we know that what we want is only at our fingertips. It is to have a purpose, to love hard and fast and strong, to make a difference for someone else, and to have a sense of peace. It means having fun, maintaining a sense of self discipline, and for me, trusting God. Not resting on our laurels or past accomplishments and looking for a chance every day to learn something new, make life better for someone else, or just to maintain.

6. Best Yet. The Beatles and Jimi Hendrix  gave us the knowledge that we will always be secure cause we can Get By With a Little Help From Our Friends. Yep. For Pat, and Amy, Shayla, Becky, Debbie, Susan, and you all know who you are: Bink, Bryan, Findlander, the list goes on: Marie, YMCA Aerobic friends, FMS friends, VMS friends, VHS Friends, CA Friends, Old friends are the gold friends and new friends keep life moving.  Friends are the family we pick and where we can pick up. Years may go by yet when we pick up, it is like we never left off. The roots run deep.

7. And so the list goes on: Aretha taught us RESPECT and Sheryl Crow taught us that All I Wanna Do Is Have Some Fun; Robert Palmer summed up the middle aged tendency to forget, "the lights are on, but you're not home" in Addicted to Love; and Pink Floyd gave us both Time and Money.

8. Journey taught us Don't Stop Believing and Micheal Jackson challenged us to look inside at The Man In the Mirror.  I always hesitate to write reflections like this as it tends to make us sound old but by now we have learned that age is only a number and that Only the Good Die Young (thanks Billy Joel)  And I say that with hesitation because as we reach this point in life, we are seeing death and our own mortality hit closer to our lives. Yet we also see the power of youth in our kids and grand kids. It makes it all more real and makes us appreciate life more everyday. Education is our greatest tool.

9. We may now feel for three days the effects of one night of " I Want to Rock and Roll All Night and Party Everyday" but that dancing spirit keeps us going in yoga class and running marathons.

10. So throw on some good old classic rock, pull out that favorite t-shirt, binge watch some TV or catch a good movie, and curl up with the ones you love. Have some Boone's Farm while you are at it. Well maybe.  Set some new goals, define your purpose, whether you are a Fool for the City (Foghat) , or a Sharp Dressed Man (ZZTop) and know that this is the best times of our lives and Girls Just Want to Have Fun. (Cyndi Lauper)  Love hard. Write the bucket list. Fulfill the bucket list, and savor the moments.

Add some soul with Barry White or Pavlov's Dog and most importantly use the gifts God has given you. 

Most Importantly:

Be the change you wish to see happen.... Ghandi.

And when the chips are down,,, watch Mad Men. The Rohlfing siblings have declared it, best series ever!

This Is How We Roll

Luke Bryan and Florida Georgia Line said it best... but learning to roll with life is a skill and definitely one of my Top 365.

Letting Go
Learning to Roll means letting go of the past hurts and problems and moving on to a better future. It means taking the time to heal from conflicts with friends, family members, and the world in general and not getting stuck in the process. It means forgiving others and most of all yourself for indiscretions, miscommunications, and errors in judgment.

Develop Grit
Developing grit is the ability to build that firm line and persevere. It is strength. Some people get it early in life and some people get it late. Some have it and lose it for awhile and then get it back. It is having the maturity to know when to let go and when to hang on. It is not letting defeats get in the way of your ultimate plan and mission, whether personal or professional. It is resilience. Some get it naturally and can roll and some of us  have to roll in it before we can roll on.

Strong in the Weakest Places
Strong in the weakest places means that the place where we have the most vulnerability is where we are able to stand the strongest. It is getting past the pain of the hurt and being able to withstand and move on. It is pain from early loss and fear of rejection coming back to smack us in the face again.  It carries one through, controls one, and sometimes almost breaks one... but it is the memory of happy times, fun times, people's perceptions of home, that allow us to roll on.

Childlike Wonder
That childlike wonder of trying something new. Believing that prince charming will come and that you will always be protected. Trusting in the security of God and faith and knowing that the sun will come up tomorrow and all will persevere. Knowing that Life is Good and that sometimes the hardest lessons come when we need to change the most.

Forgiveness
Forgiving those who hurt us, intentionally or non-intentionally. Understanding that people do what they do with best intentions in mind and that although evil intent does exist, most people react because of habit or lack of knowledge of a different reality or because the situation simply was not right.

Not Hanging On
Letting go is physically letting go. Not hanging on is the ability to not ruminate about the problem, to get strong, to forget about it. The bigger the problem, the harder to let go. The deeper the hurt, the harder to let go. The longer the consequence, the harder to let go. Not hanging on means moving on and getting out the mindset (and sometimes the environment) that brought on the pain. It  means faking it till you make it. It means looking out for opportunities to connect with others and reaching out. It  means becoming strong and empowered. It sometimes means letting go of traditions and people and knowing that no matter how painful, the sun does come up tomorrow.

Victim
Some of us like to play the victim and this is not a good way to roll. Victim means not letting go and moving on. Victim means becoming angry and fixing blame and seeking revenge or curling up and giving up. Victim means not fighting back with righteous indignation and instead fighting back with fear. To victim is to wallow. Victim can only visit for awhile. Then it has to go away. Instead a victor comes into place in the form of a survivor. Victim means someone did it to me and how dare they and poor, poor me. Survivor means someone did it to me,  oh yes they did, but it will not consume me. Survivor means the day of reckoning will arrive and we do not have to control it. Survivor means that it happened and is a part of me but it does not define me.

Stages of Recovery
Some people go through the recovery process quietly and then quickly move on. Some of us do it with drama and flamboyance.  We posture and we post and we systemize the process. Either is ok. The quiet ones do it and move on because they feel the anger and they lash back and move on. The loud ones do it and they feel the anger and theorize it and move on.

Snowball Down the Mountain
Recovery comes closer to those who do not have layers of unresolved issue.  For those who do not, the process is quick, get it over and move on because there are more important things to do in life than wallow over past hurts. For those who have past issues and esp for those who carry a lot of guilt, shame, and anger, moving on takes more time. The issues have to be resolved. For sensitive temperaments, this can become unbearable and an invitation to fall into victim role. Dealing and grit keeps us from becoming a perpetual victim.  They say it is like a snowball rolling down the mountain, the more baggage, the bigger the snowball becomes as it collects the snow. It is about trusting that letting go is the best answer and that the new reality will be better.

If we cannot manage to work through them, they manifest into a negative persona.  For some they manifest in addiction,  for some in isolation. People lose their joy and happiness. We have to roll on. We cannot get stuck. We have to roll on and let it go. Life is short and fun. It is finding outlets to enjoy, reading, writing, listening, speaking. It is forming a plan and making it happen. It is about surrounding oneself with happy.

After 50
Rolling after 50 is harder. It is the time to know that you are on the last half. Things become more tender, sensitive, and vital. Although the best recourse is to roll on and throw caution to the wind, it is harder. It is finding oneself again and rolling on into a new being. It is letting go of who you were, building a career and following a linear path. It is scary when it all comes to a halt, with no security in place, but it can be invigorating. A chance to start anew, meet new friends, build new relationships, try new things. It is harder for those who obtain self worth through actions. When the security base goes and the illusion of who we were based on what we did is suddenly yanked out from under us, it is harder to go on. But it is possible. It is possible because we still have all of the above and we still have that impish, eager little kid inside who is ready to try new things, conquer the world, and give to others.

55 is the New 21
When 55 becomes the new 21, all of the conventional strings can be dis attached and we can begin again with the spirit of the 21 year old and the wisdom of 55. This is how we roll. We let go of the pain of the past, the shock of the earthquake that hit our life, and we roll as a new person. We stay strong and change our mindset and we know that nothing is sacred in life, we have to go for the gusto everyday, and this is how we roll. We don't look back, we look forward and we roll on and add even more chapters. And when all else fails, we can always listed in Luke Bryan and Georgia Florida Line (or any of their colleagues) cause between Broadway and country music, there is always a new tomorrow.