Yesterday I Bought a Fit Bit

Yesterday I bought a Fit Bit. I am so excited to begin this new adventure in tracking and researching how to get fit via a Fit Bit. That is the psychological approach I am using to convince myself that I can begin to resume the fitness routines of my 30's and apply them in my 50's.

Ode to the days of the YMCA in Vandalia and Lynn's step aerobic class. This class was so much fun. Good workout. Fun people. A great way to get fit and also enjoy the music and the people. After I left Vandalia it was never quite the same. History showed an aligned program with Jazzercise and me for a long period of time. Then came the days of administration and time was crazy. And so exercise ran by the wayside. And then the onset of the M word,,, yep... menopause and the stagnant, too tired, effects of not exercising and the body going bonkers.

Job changes. Moves. Meeting the needs of living in California with the highest cost of living in the US sans New York and fulfilling one's dream. Let me see. What were my other excuses? Dissertation. Long commute. Crazy politics at work. Relocating. And that is the truth. We all know the drill. The only one responsible for my success is me. And of course God. But I know that God wants me to be fit so I have to take him out of the equation.

I have a gym membership, belong to WW online, and have no excuse not to follow a plan. I live across the street from the San Francisco Bay and I have a walking and biking path in my front yard. I no longer have a commute. I have flexibility in my job, and I am looking to move to a place that is more economical. I have NO excuse left.

Ha. Recovery literature tells us that we come to our greatest growth when we can stop making excuses, looking outward for blame, and are left with ourselves. And I say this lightly. I am glad I am here. The stress is gone. I have the time and the resources to pursue growth. A new phase. Intellectually. I can retire in five years if I want. I don't plan to do so, but I have the option. I can go back to school and obtain a certificate as an addictions counselor. I can go back to school and obtain a certificate in special education administration. I can go back to school and obtain a certificate in HR administration. I can go back to school and obtain a degree in Applied Behavior Analysis.

I still have my mom. I have my health. I have a good job. I have a happy family. I have reconnected with the relationships of my past. I have no excuses. I can go to San Francisco and see every Broadway musical I wish to see. I can write my blogs everyday. I know that pride comes before a downfall so I know to count my blessings and not get too big for my britches. I have a support system. I know that to effect change one needs to step out and I know that to do so appropriately one needs to follow the Chain of Command and build a team. I know resilience and trust and failure and the pain of putting oneself in a place where one does not belong.

So, now I must do the work necessary to establish an exercise routine that is balanced. And to maintain the pieces of the pie that I have taught to kids for years: spiritual, emotional, physical, mental, financial, and social goals. And to give. It is about giving. Giving to others and reaching out to support, not control.

So my Fit Bit is my reminder, on my wrist everyday of the blessings I can encounter and the blessings I have. My reminder to slow down, be empathetic, listen, understand, and reach out to others. To give back. To be creative. To never take people, time, or blessings for granted.  To know that in a minute things can change and I need to always appreciate and show appreciation. Not out of fear but because of what has been granted to me. To learn to trust that all things come as God directs and that we always end up on our feet if we have faith. Or if you have another Deity then to apply the faith concept there. It is about faith and giving back to others. Not resting on our laurels but doing what we do to help make life better for others.

Who would of thought that the 99.00 purchase can be such a life changer? But it is.

Being Open

We see God's goodness everywhere. In our homes, our jobs, and our interactions with others. Nothing is left to chance. God has the plan for our lives. We fall out of favor with Him when we digress, but yet he pulls us back. Nothing is by chance.

We have a purpose. We have a purpose to live life in the best way possible, giving to God all that we have, living each day for him. When we can move our actions and reactions to this higher level, life becomes easy. Decisions, conflicts, and struggles are minimized because our decisions and reactions are made for the glory of God.

This does not mean an extreme and rigid belief system that does not welcome others. The Bible is the inspired word of God. The Ten Commandments are our guiding principles. We cannot bring judgement on groups or people that humans interpret as not fitting in the meaning. God is a good God. He expects us to love others, to turn the other cheek, to live in peace and harmony. Not to discriminate, judge, and hate. Forgiveness is the fundamental principle of God's love for us. He gave His son to atone for our sins so we can live guilt free. That is not carte blanche to continue sinning and hurting others with no accountability. It is the ability to know that in the darkest moments when we have our biggest failures, when life is closing in we can release the guilt and be.

I know that I awake every day feeling free in the knowledge that God has my back. That He is there for me and that I can always turn there for support. My job is to reach out to others, be kind, be a message of goodness and accountability. Education, Keeping growth in the forefront.

I have friends who follow other faiths. It is not my place to determine if their image of God is right or wrong compared to mine. That to me is me taking on God's role. Not my place. I never picked groups in high school. I found comfort in being friends with everyone. Some were more like me than others, but I tried to pick out the best in all. Same with religion.

There is God and there is the Devil, or evil, or the dark side. Yet we fear no evil for God is with us, even to the end of the earth. So there. I am not too into fighting a spiritual battle with the devil. He is strong and I hate the evil I see when people and animals are abused and treated cruelly. Or when special interest factions go awry. But I think our "spiritual warfare" comes from goodness. Living a good life, Showing kindness, joy, acceptance, patience. Reaching out to those who need support. Living in tandem with God's word and His blessings.  The other side, the conflicts, the wars, the battles, the evil, come from strife. It began with Cain and Abel and their first conflict. It keeps coming. We will never overcome the conflicts for the conflicts build in us resilience, faith, patience. If all was well, we would cease to exist. It is overcoming and continuing to remain whole and good that makes us stronger.

There is grace in faith. There is comfort in faith. There is respect in knowing that God is with us even when man is against. It is the miracle of life. Gratitude. So just for review, below are the Ten Commandments.

1. You shall have no other gods before Me.
2. You shall not make idols.
3. You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.
4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
5. Honor your father and your mother.
6. You shall not murder.
7. You shall not commit adultery.
8. You shall not steal.
9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
10. You shall not covet.

When we decide to react with discrimination to race, people unlike us, or change, it is time to re read these.  We all have a banner we carry.  Clean up our own backyards first and find a place for our own sins and inequities. Then we can start to look outside. But not to judge. Instead to look for opportunity to make life more meaningful for others.  In the meantime,  we turn the other cheek, we live in harmony, and we know that sitting back and letting God  deal with the problems are best solutions. In the meantime, it is up to personal accountability. How good are we at checking our own behaviors? 

The Seven Deadly Sins? Where are we in accord with these? 

When did we last volunteer time or money for a cause?

Who did we reach out to today?

What are we grateful for and did we express it?

I laugh a bit at people who carry their banners. Not because I don't respect them, but because I see them trying so hard to prove forth their message, be it equality, the rights of social groups, or against discrimination.  I have one person I know who carries all kinds of banners for equality. She often attempts to shock me with her liberalism. Although I act innocent, I see her attempts. What she does not know is that she is talking to the choir. I don't find a need to expose my beliefs or my past experiences  for the sake of exposure. When they appear, they appear. That to me is confidence. It is being comfortable in one's own skin. 

I fight for kids. I fight for kids to be treated with respect. I fight for kids to have equal opportunity. I fight for kids to have second and third chances. I fight for kids to be loved. This is where I give my greatest push back. We cannot control poverty or human weakness, but we can chip away at the system every day but making sure our kids are taken care of. That is my mission. I don't care about the race or the sexual preference of the kids or who their parents are or were. I care that they are kids and that they deserve to have the best we can give them as they grow up. Where it goes from there is their responsibility. I want kids to experience every good thing they can. That is my agenda. 

Acceptance comes not from protests and loudness, but from love shown. MLKing did it this way. Being combative does not solve problems. Working in tandem and in love does. Evil begets evil. Trust builds in time. It takes common ground. Modeling. Respect. When I feel the need to compete and fight back, I know I am in too deep. This is the time when I need to sit back and say some prayers. Ask for God to take it and show me a better way. 

Taking Time for Some Mid Fifty Reflection: Classic Rock Style.

So many influences move us forth in our world. Work family play. The past, the present the future. As time moves on, we see people we know who pass on. We are in the age of our life where we have lost or are losing parents. Joy of seeing kids and grand kids grow. Then we ask, what have I done? what influence can I make?

I am a firm believer that we have a calling. A calling to bring life forward for others. To ensure that our job every day is to provide both joy and support to people. It is probably the teacher in me. Or the waitress in me. Nothing better than a meal well served. Or a lesson well taught. Or a school year well finished. It is the responsibility we have toward and for others. And the system. We look for the silver lining when we live it every day.  God does orchestrate. So my fellow mid fifty friends and colleagues: Let's reflect:

1. How did we fair so well after we visited Stairway to Heaven at our senior prom? What types of heaven on earth have we created for others? How have we given back?

2. Aerosmith taught us to Walk this Way. What way have you walked? Have you managed to balance the needs of self and life and family and friends? Do you still strut your stuff? Cause you should. We are those children of the 70's and our opportunities are endless. Time to dust off. Get out there and make some new memories.

3. Gloria Gaynor gave us optimal strength and foundation in I Will Survive. By now most of us have hit some road blocks: death of loved ones, job failures, problems with kids or finances, or spiritual scarcity.  Yet nevertheless, we learn by this point to roll with things. Nothing is less sacred because we can take it in stride. Those things we fear become less fearful when we experience them and manage to make it through. Never unscathed, but a part of our selves. We blend it into our current reality and we learn to appreciate a little bit more.

4. Bachman Turner Overdrive or as we love to call it (BTO) gave us a chance to "Get up every morning to the alarm clock warning and take the 8:15 into the city", cause we are  Taking Care of Business. We are at the times of our lives. We have our careers intact (well kind of cause if you are like me, I am always looking around the corner for a new experience), families are raised, we are helping our parents, appreciating our siblings, and can finally take the time to travel, read, and binge watch all of the shows we missed. We are taking care of business. Health, exercise, goal setting, and reaching out to others, and maintaining connections keep us focused. We have Facebook to close the loops from the past and to connect our futures, Twitter to express our political viewpoints, and Linked In to keep a connection to the world of growth and self motivation.

5. Mick and Keith taught us, You Can't Always Get What You Want but we know that what we want is only at our fingertips. It is to have a purpose, to love hard and fast and strong, to make a difference for someone else, and to have a sense of peace. It means having fun, maintaining a sense of self discipline, and for me, trusting God. Not resting on our laurels or past accomplishments and looking for a chance every day to learn something new, make life better for someone else, or just to maintain.

6. Best Yet. The Beatles and Jimi Hendrix  gave us the knowledge that we will always be secure cause we can Get By With a Little Help From Our Friends. Yep. For Pat, and Amy, Shayla, Becky, Debbie, Susan, and you all know who you are: Bink, Bryan, Findlander, the list goes on: Marie, YMCA Aerobic friends, FMS friends, VMS friends, VHS Friends, CA Friends, Old friends are the gold friends and new friends keep life moving.  Friends are the family we pick and where we can pick up. Years may go by yet when we pick up, it is like we never left off. The roots run deep.

7. And so the list goes on: Aretha taught us RESPECT and Sheryl Crow taught us that All I Wanna Do Is Have Some Fun; Robert Palmer summed up the middle aged tendency to forget, "the lights are on, but you're not home" in Addicted to Love; and Pink Floyd gave us both Time and Money.

8. Journey taught us Don't Stop Believing and Micheal Jackson challenged us to look inside at The Man In the Mirror.  I always hesitate to write reflections like this as it tends to make us sound old but by now we have learned that age is only a number and that Only the Good Die Young (thanks Billy Joel)  And I say that with hesitation because as we reach this point in life, we are seeing death and our own mortality hit closer to our lives. Yet we also see the power of youth in our kids and grand kids. It makes it all more real and makes us appreciate life more everyday. Education is our greatest tool.

9. We may now feel for three days the effects of one night of " I Want to Rock and Roll All Night and Party Everyday" but that dancing spirit keeps us going in yoga class and running marathons.

10. So throw on some good old classic rock, pull out that favorite t-shirt, binge watch some TV or catch a good movie, and curl up with the ones you love. Have some Boone's Farm while you are at it. Well maybe.  Set some new goals, define your purpose, whether you are a Fool for the City (Foghat) , or a Sharp Dressed Man (ZZTop) and know that this is the best times of our lives and Girls Just Want to Have Fun. (Cyndi Lauper)  Love hard. Write the bucket list. Fulfill the bucket list, and savor the moments.

Add some soul with Barry White or Pavlov's Dog and most importantly use the gifts God has given you. 

Most Importantly:

Be the change you wish to see happen.... Ghandi.

And when the chips are down,,, watch Mad Men. The Rohlfing siblings have declared it, best series ever!

Christmas Reflections

Merry Christmas
It is always fun to reflect on Christmas past. What are some most precious Christmas memories?

1. Sarah Rohlfing walking  by the moving Coca Cola Santa and tapping him on the shoulder and saying, "Hi Ho Ho" when she was about two. The year Santa left some of Jared's presents at the store. Filling stockings and watching my niece and nephew open gifts, grow up, and seeing the joy in their eyes with love.

2. Waking up on Christmas morning as a kid to find presents, open them with family, and the spirit of Christmas. My Dad and his work putting things together, Aunt Rita and Uncle Marvin being there on Christmas Eve and me trying to go to sleep. Calling all of my friends as a tween and teen ager to tell them what I got for Christmas. Making sure my Mom had presents after my Dad died so she was not left out. The year Chris and I got microwaves and Sue at age ten or so looked with fear at the same size box thinking she had a microwave too. Grandma's house. All of the cousins. The food. The farm.

3. Christmas Eve at Holy Cross Lutheran Church. The year we could not go because of the snow. The year we went and were a half hour late because we got the time wrong. Singing Christmas songs. O Come All Ye Faithful. Years of Silent Night by candlelight with my friend Joni there with the family. Getting bags with peanuts, an orange, and some candy as a kid after the service. Having to go to practice every Saturday before to practice for the program. The year I directed the program myself.

4. Going to my Mom's house on Christmas Eve after church where she made all kinds of delightful food. Drinks, friends, and family. We never knew who may be there. Pat, Joni, Jerri. Donny. Joe. Grandma.  Brandy slushes. Those little cheesecakes. Her fudge. Giving Jerri a packet with her fudge every year, even after she moved to CA. Pictures in front of the Christmas tree. Making sure Sue always had a good Christmas. The year Santa forgot to fill the stockings.

5. Christmas in California. Staying up until the wee hours on Christmas Eve to play Santa. Going outside at 7:00 to see Santa fly over Ventura. Lunch on Christmas Eve with the family and a fun Christmas Eve at Chris and Kim's.

6. Eating Chinese for Christmas dinner with Gail the year I did not fly to California. We drove all over St. Louis to find a restaurant open. She drove down to St. Louis so I would not be alone at Christmas. The night before Joni was married and I was in her wedding.

7. Sue, Chris, Mom, Dad, Grandma. So many Christmas Eves and Christmas mornings. The blend of the religious reason for the holiday with the joy of gifts and giving. The year we lost my Dad and how we had to keep going and make it happy. Years with Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Cecil and going to their house for dinner. Always driving up there Christmas night when I was in California and sitting with them.

8. Christmas movie and lunch on Christmas Day with my mom. Our time to celebrate. We have seen some good movies in our time, have had to look for restaurants open, and at times have settled for movies on TV and grilled cheese and tomato soup.

9. Christmas Eve in the bars in Vandalia. Cannot speak of Christmas without this. Bartending after church so people with kids could be home with their children. Jay's and bartending with Brad Tedrick when both of us knew nothing about how to bartend. The Full Moon so Fred could be with his family on Christmas Eve. Lots of joy and lots of tips. Years of waitressing on Christmas Eve day. Happy people and a chance to see people I normally did not see. One Christmas Eve where I chased Deb all over Vandalia and missed church cause I was at the Office with Josephine.

10. All of the years of baking cookies for students and making Christmas packets for them. Working with students to put together Christmas programs in our classroom and inviting all of the parents. Watching them create and grow and put together great ideas. Showing them the Christmas classics: White Christmas, It's a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, Christmas in Connecticut. Could not do that now as a teacher, but it was the tradition in my classroom. And we always wrote a movie review.  Taking pictures of students in front of the classroom Christmas tree.

11. Being upstairs at Wayne's and watching the snow come down over the Statehouse lawn through the big windows. Watching the video jukebox and hearing for the first time from it Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer. Skinnies and Sillies. Rubin and Joni. Deb. Wayne. Taking off with Wayne on his birthday to Effingham and not coming back for hours cause we were hitting all of the highway bars. Bartending at Fred's over Christmas break and running our tales off because we were so busy.

12. Christmas parties. Vandalia Middle School. Jay's.. Wayne's. Christmas sweaters. Christmas gifts and cards. I always made it a special necessity to remember the reason for the season and though some might find it paradoxical, to make sure I combined the festivity with the birth of Jesus.
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Christmas comes and goes every year. A time to bring people together, bring out the best in us all, and to remember the Virgin Birth. Traditions change. People pass on and though their absence is evident, we persevere.  We always make sure the kids have the best of days. Everyone has traditions. My heart fills when I think of the people, the traditions, and all of the fun we have had at Christmas with family and friends.

                       Merry Christmas and may God's  blessings carry you through the New Year.

Rambling About Appreciation

Who Have You Appreciated Lately?

Appreciation is as much a trait of leadership as any other traits. Appreciation provides an opportunity to reflect on what is good in life. What do you appreciate? People, concepts, culture, art, faith, God?

Defining appreciation is an exercise in values as well as humility. Looking outward at what is good provides a greater emphasis on what we appreciate.
 As a principal I at times would write a Thanksgiving letter to let the staff know each trait of a person and how they were appreciated. I would frame this as a poem or as a letter and give as a way to support. The big necessity when doing this is ensuring that no one is missed. Letting people know what you appreciate about them is not only positive karma, it is also a way to reach out and build support.  Being appreciative is fun and uplifting to the self.

 A couple of years ago I put a gratitude post on Facebook each day of November to articulate my appreciation.

Appreciation does not end with others. It is important to define what one appreciates about oneself. This is an exercise is self enrichment and a way to ensure balance and whole life support.

Appreciation can also be a great way to build empathy in students. Having students articulate what they appreciate in their lives through writing, drawing, or speaking can enable growth and respect.

Another way to spread appreciation is to let students know why they are appreciated. I used to write a short note to my students, "I Like Because" and would give them a few sentences which reflected their gifts as I saw them. When I would hand these out,  the room became silent.  People do not often let others know how they are appreciated.

The holidays provide a natural moment to show appreciation for others, our world, and our life. Volunteerism increases during the holidays and people reach out both financially and physically. Gifts show appreciation. Short notes show appreciation. A kind word shows appreciation.

So What Do I Appreciate?

• My family.
• My friends.
• My job.
• My colleagues.
• My God.
• The cohort buddies who pushed me toward my dissertation.
• My ability to process.
• Those I have lost in my life.
• The ability to look, see, and reach out.
• Opportunity to teach others.
• Opportunity to learn.
• Opportunity to make lives better for people.
• Good health.
• Everything and everyone that has brought me to this point.
• Beauty in art and literature.
• Films and theatre.
• The beauty and diversity of California.
• The beauty and diversity of cultures and people.
• Travel
• Communication.
• A good book.

My list could go on. Creating a list of what one appreciates is a window to the soul of the person. Our biggest goal is to create something to contribute to the world and to carry on. For some that is a their children. For some a piece of art. For some a sustainable earth.

Appreciating and the process of appreciation can also be an exercise in growth for at risk kids. Often angry and victims, creating a regular process of articulating appreciation can bring kids out and begin to build trust. Students can move from reacting as a victim to reacting as a survivor.

Appreciation fills the soul. It is like sending a love letter to God to let Him know what you appreciate. If you do not believe that God gives these gifts, appreciation lists can be positive in analyzing one's life.

Appreciation is the opposite of entitlement. Appreciation reminds us that every day in every way we are responsible to look for the good, not assume, not expect, but remember that it is grace that brings us good.

Appreciation is happy too. Positive.  Letting someone know they are appreciated can make their day.
It takes little time and can make a big difference.

This is a picture of my Grandma. One of the people I appreciate so much. Her influence, support, and strength have made a difference for me, my siblings, and cousins. She worked hard, had strong faith, and loved. She was fun and funny. I am so glad I had her in my life.

Practice

Practice is in my Top 365 as it enables me to practice what I need to do to improve skill and obtain knowledge. Today I am practicing with this blog. I am practicing how to upload pictures to my blog to make it more interesting. So here goes:

God

God is a part of My Top 365. He is the Top. He keeps me humble. He holds me up when things go awry. He has embedded me with the Holy Spirit whose quiet promptings keep me focused, give me hints when I have gone too far, keep me level when my tendency to overwork and then become prideful take over.

Perhaps it is because I never had children of my own, but I sometimes think the immature side of me takes over when I attempt to become coy and make cute comments which often comes away as sarcastic and downright rude. I do this as a form of endearment but often forget that other people do not know me like I know me. My friends and family know my sense of humor but  the teasing behavior with new friends and folks can seem a bit too much. This is one way that God helps me to put on the brakes and slow down.

Another way that God helps me is to keep reminding me why I am here. Not of my own doing or because of anything I have done or created, but because He has a plan for my life and I am His to run this plan. I really do believe in the power of the Big Book in the Sky with our life road set out. I also believe that our faith is tested, not because God wants us to feel pain or Suck Up, but because he wants us to become strong in Him. It is at these times that the immature me comes through again and I start to have the Big Pity Party. Then I realize that I need to Suck it UP because God is in control and the plan is bigger than me.

Some people think that God is not real or that faith is a joke. I am not one to wrangle philosophy or religiosity. I do believe that our biggest Mission is the life we lead every day and the model we show to other people. I also know from experience that other people get offended by someone who follows the rules. It is usually because they need to the validation that they are right or at times are turned off by the goodness. Oftentimes what is really introversion and shyness comes off as aloofness. I have always known myself to be the person who needs to have a "reason" to be a part of the mass  in order to feel comfortable. An example, put me at a party and give me a job to do so I feel comfortable. Or let me be behind the bar so I serve others to participate. It is my personality and at times I think I seem anti social but I cannot do small talk really well. I think we all have areas of weakness and strength and I rely on God to get me through those tough situations where I feel extremely uncomfortable and do not know how to interact.

God is good. He reaches out to all and He gives us what we can do to make the world a better place now and forever. I think our biggest challenge in life is to be all we can be every day for the good of God. Influence the good. Build for a better tomorrow. I also think that God loves everyone. That empathy has to come through even with the roughest of people. God does not judge and He expects us to reach out and be the support that people need. Consequences are consequences yet God can warm even the hardest of hearts.

Knowing that even the hardest of hearts, the most violent people are wounded inside can give us a chance to make a difference. That is where the real challenge comes because it is easy to reach out to the status quo. It is the hardened people who need our hearts. I think when times are tough and we are vulnerable it is easy to turn to God. It is when things get better that our true faith is tested. Thus prison ministry and working with those in vulnerable situations involves a mission of keeping the faith afloat when life or circumstances become better. This is where perseverance and faith collide.

I have always been a people person and some would not call me really the model of what a Christian should be. Yet I have a good heart and I do care about people. I think that our maturity level dictates our walk. God turns our head to change when He is ready for us to be stronger. He asks us to cure addictions, turn away from immoral behaviors, and to focus on the good. He also understands that the accountability for the past is just that, past. It does not matter. God wants people today. I think this is the biggest message we can give to people. And I am not a big "religious" person. Non pious I guess. I believe and I want to live right yet I do not judge or try to mold people into an image of what it means to be a "Christian". I think God does that in people's hearts. I need to be supportive and gently nudge myself to be better and support growth in others. If not, the support become enabling and that is not good either.

The least selfish thing we can do is work on ourselves and then use that influence to reach out to others. Non arrogantly because my closet has skeletons just like everyone else. I respect strong confidence and opinions in people. I also know that my faults are big and I have to work on my own confidence and never get prideful. It is the balance of confidence and humbleness. I don't like to be prideful. I am a strong willed person and a people pleaser and sometimes that drives other people crazy. I work on taming this.  That is where compassion comes in.

It is about reaching out and being kind and giving back. I cannot judge people who do not believe in God as I see him but have other deity beliefs. I know many believe that this is wrong but I cannot go there. I think that most people have a Supreme Being that they believe in and I don't think it is my place to judge whether those who call it differently will get to Heaven.

God is My Top 365. He has seen me through more than one tough time and He always keeps me afloat. Where I often fall back is not stepping up to spread his Love to others. So that is my new goal. To give to others the kind of Love and Support that God gives to me and to hopefully bring them along in the Journey through His love. I see a sense of peace and calm in letting God direct. In letting go and letting God. I would like to give that peace of mind to others. That is my new plan and of course God is laughing because He is the Great Planner and He loves my plans. Cause I make a lot of them.

I love my life. I love my family and I love the ability to be broken and then mend. I also think that reaching out to people who are in tough places is our biggest challenge. God show us the truth and the Truth will set us free. Our challenge is to step outside our comfort zone and continue to seek new experiences, experience new truth, meet new people, and not get stuck in a place that may feel safe, but is not reaching out to others. Everyone's commission is different.