Heike is number 359 in people who make a difference. I met Heike in 1998 when I went to work at Ferguson Middle School. At the time she was the AV clerk and I was the new Dean of Students.
Heike is from Germany. She met her husband and became a nanny for his son. As time went on she married Ron and he adopted her two daughters. Heike is fun, loyal, and strong as a person.
Heike and I became immediate friends. She does not get involved in too much stuff and she is loyal to the end. She and I like to go to Bread Company or the Pasta House and we would go there for lunch. One year she cooked dinner for us all on Thanksgiving. Heike lets people be themselves. She accepts you for who you are and loves you unconditionally.
When I became principal, Heike became the office manager. She and I learned the job together. I knew I could always count on her to have my back. People respect Heike for her honesty and genuine attitude. She is a leader and keeps a low profile as she leads. She cares about Ferguson and Ferguson Middle and takes care of people.
She had a couple of losses after I left, her son Chris and Ms. Joanne. I know this hit her hard but she bounced back and she and Ron adopted her grandaughter Kristen. Now she is a mom again and raising a small toddler.
Heike is now very active in the Union at FFSD. She is good at her job and she is an advocate for others. She will keep things balanced and fair. I had the pleasure of seeing Heike again in 2010 for the first time in five years. It was like we had never been a part.
Heike is kind and loving, strong and loyal, and a role model for me to follow. She is unconditional and never strays from her love for the people she cares about.
Heike is definitely one of the top ten.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Scrappy Bosses
Boss from Hell- Who made a difference in negative way
November 21, 2010
Well, the last two years of my life have been pretty tough but I am not going to let them get me down. The last two years have been my opportunity to experience the boss from hell. I was hired to take over a struggling school in July of 2008. I originally turned down the offer and probably should have followed my gut at that time and let it go. But I did not. I have had a pretty good career, but do find that API scores and being a principal is not my thing. I will be probably moving out of that mode in the next job.
When I started there they had just run out the last principal. Principals usually make it there for about two years before they run them out and put someone else in. One district regime was on the outs and another was coming in which also could have been my first indication to stay put. But I took the chance mainly because I hated the weather in the district I was currently working in as principal. I also took a bit of a pay cut and ended up having to work more days in the school year. Looking back it was all of a kind of bad move.
I guess I kind of play a victim or so I am finding because I do tend to attract bullies. I think this is because I am pretty nice and compliant and do my job and advocate for teachers. It pisses off those who like the command and control mode. I also have a lot of experience and tend to intimidate people.
Boss from hell came into my life after the man who hired me left. My first opportunity to meet him was at a party in December of 2008. This of course was hosted by the current other BFHII. Boss from hell has no compassion. He is from a poor home and is a fighter and has very little class. No compassion. He wants to make kids “tough” and he is a strong advocate for vocational ed. Blue collar all the way, boss from hell is a climber. He is narcissistic and he would walk on anyone to get what he wants. He prides himself on being a scrapper. Lives for winners and losers and hates women in administration. He took some time for us at the party and then was whisked out by his wife. I have heard that his wife rules the roost which is probably why he is so power hungry. She probably emasculates him regularly.
Our next meeting came during Christmas break that year. He came into my office and his look of disgust was apparent. His distaste for me, my office, and my style was very evident. BFH wants a sleek, innovative, and streamlined process. I was there once too. Until I realized that you have to have a balance. I am overweight and that day was wearing jeans as I was cleaning out files. I anticipated that he would take a chance to get to know me, see where I had been, and talk about goals. Nope. BFH could have cared less about what I brought to the table. He came to let me know what his plans were. I immediately knew that this relationship was not going to work. BFH had his agenda set and it had nothing to do with meeting people where they were.
BFH then took off and that was the beginning of the end for me. Our next encounter that I remember was during a branch meeting. He was pontificating as he usually does and letting us know that the supt wanted the teachers in dress code. His tone is cool. He talks down to us, and he does not impress me at all. Probably because he has no use for me and never did. I have read that during mobbing incidents, the scapegoat becomes almost invisible. That was BFH’s desire I think. That day I asked a question about dress code and he lost his cool. That was the end of our relationship for me. I discussed my distaste with his style with A colleague who later went right to him and shared the conversation. My mistake, do not trust anyone.
Our next incident occurred one day when we had a fight at school. I was home with a broken water heater and we had an incident which involved an employee hitting a student. He came unglued with me the next day. Never mind that I was not even there, or that the employees involved made wrong choices or that the ones involved were ones I had inherited from previous administration. It was my fault and I was at fault. Somewhere in here he also went off on my for my leadership and made me discuss which teachers were ineffective and let me know that he wanted me to put in writing each teacher and what I was going to do with them. I was appalled that he would take such a Woman Hater Id. Not to discuss it and problem solve about any issues, but that he wanted me to put it in writing. I let him know then that I did not feel any sense of trust with him or with his regime and that I would finish the year and then move on. He then backpedaled and sent me an email and let me know that he and the supt were totally in synch with me and so that was the end of that.
For awhile after that, things went well. I know that the supt also does not approve of my looks or my actions or me in general. He is divorced, had an affair, dumped both the wife and the mistress, and is pretty narcissist. Talks a lot of stuff but does not seem to follow through. They all seem to think women are pretty disposable. Also, Woman Hater II, head of another organization, who I really liked at first, found out he is the same way. If I knew the truth, he has probably been banging Victim II and Victim I, now is divorced and will probably throw both of them to the side. Just a perception of course.
I met Mentor I as my mentor later that year. After I had had a talk with another lady in the curriculum office who intimated that I needed to fight for my job. So Mentor I became my mentor. We had nice talks. She was BFH’s boss and I am sure that some of our conversations made it to him. As long as she was in the picture BFH was excited because now he had the right person on the bus. Suddenly all went well.
We had a situation in December of 2009 which could have been prevented. We had a couple of students ready to fight and Dean Two jumped in and it ended up being a mob situation. I was not at work as I admit that I find it tough to get to work before 8am so that is my fault. BFH came over (later I found out that an office worker told him he had to go. He had something planned with his wife). We went into instant mode on the fight and got the kids off campus. One student who is quite unpredictable told BFH to fuck off. Oh boy, that did not go well. I got a long memo on that one which was not signed and went to both my dean and secretary before it came to me and I know it was his rantings as he cannot sit down and have a diplomatic conversation. BFH prides himself on knowing how to deal with our student population and I am sure was quite embarrassed when the kid told him to F off. I was at fault for not being there although I know that I could not have stopped something that five men could not have prevented.
My pride and my eagerness to move up also got in my way during this situation. BFH was looking for a way to move out my colleague, A colleague, who was not performing well at our other school. I suggested to him that he could have one principal over both schools, an asst principal and a dean. He suddenly decided this was the case. At this time I allowed BFH to make me principal of two schools and to not take extra money for this. I did this to support the organization and this was the first time I talked with him about moving out of the principalship and into a new job. A conversation which was used against me later.
BFH put Dean Three in the job at School Two, screwed Dean Two out of a job increase, and put me in as principal of both schools. It was at this time that things really started to deteriorate. BGH wanted me to be principal but let me know that, “HE did not want me anywhere near that school”, and that “I was to stay clear of Dean Three”. That was fine and dandy until June 15 when I had to cover there because A colleague went off on a vacation and Dean Three had no days left. BFH then wanted me there to cover the school and at this point it was ok for me to be there.
He is a user and an abuser and a screamer. People are disposable to him. He knows how to build his factions to make the bullying work and he will fall and fall hard some day. Have seen it happen now to another who was in this boat. BFH has no balls, has no confidence in his ability to make decisions, and does not know what he is doing. He would never put himself out to help teachers, he hates teachers in fact, and he would never put himself out to help a principal. Barks a lot and does not have a leadership bone in his body. He is really scared and insecure and in some ways I feel sorry for him. (Cant believe I said that)
So then, soon after that, I took over both jobs. Took my time during the summer to train both deans so they could take over as principals. BFH and I had words a couple of times. He pounded his fist on the table and let me know that he was not going to give me more money. He also told me that he would “tell you this one more time and see if you get it”. Rather disrespectful I would say. Problem is, I have no respect for him. He knows nothing about leadership, building a sustainable organization, or how to really build a place that works for kids. Instead it is all about breaking down to rebuild and stomping on people along the way. I guess it is differences in style, but I know that the superintendents with longevity that I have met all talk about the importance of building relationships and meeting people at their level.
While I was running two schools during the summer with no other administrative support, I also was facilitating curriculum writing with teachers from four schools. This after I had brought Learning I into the district and helped process this. Other things that I did accomplish during my time with BFH: instituted awards ceremonies at School One, student of the week, set the framework for fifteen credits per quarter, pyramid of interventions for SARB, in school suspension, power writing, mapped core curriculum, approval of new textbooks, mapped ELL curriculum, created ROP survey class, middle school social skills class, facilitated mapping of independent study curriculum, Open House, healed relationships with districts in County, new student orientation, Progressive discipline.
I worked pretty hard to bring it all to a head in the summer, in fact even working on my vacation so I could have it ready for August 20. He left me alone all summer and also during the time that I fell in May and had to take three weeks off work. All was well until the API scores came out in early September.
That is when things got really tight. Not sure if it was because the scores came down and they decided to get rid of me, or if they finally had an excuse to move me out. I talked with the staff about the scores dipping and they wanted to meet with him. This resulted in the BIG meeting with BFH and his colleague. They accused us of warehousing kids, trying to save them, and not teaching them. I took the responsibility for the scores dipping and let them know that I was not happy being a principal and that I could not be a principal and a curriculum director. I also upheld Boss from Hell at this point and let her know that he did not make me do the curriculum. In addition, I brought up the fact that when we tried to send students back, BFH intervened and usurped my decision making. I also let them know that I could do one job or the other but not both and that if anyone was responsible for trying to save kids it was me. That would could make it through the rest of the year and then see where we ended up. It was a very heated meeting and I probably said too much, but it was real and I am done playing games with them and covering for him.
Also, BFH and I had two other conflicts> I pressed him because he would not get us and SRO and and as he said, “Held his feet to the fire’ to get an answer as to his intent. The other time was when a special ed parent threw a fit because she had to wait for an IEP and he questioned our orientation process. He and I went around and round about this one and I finally told him that if he wanted to change it to let us know what he wanted and we would do so. He also questioned the use of Ima to work with Latino parents and at this time I knew he had no clue to the importance of building relationships during orientation.
He has also accused me of being old school and trying to save kids.
So back to the meeting with BFHII. They ended the meeting by telling me to push the hold button on any changes and to let the committee take over. Program Improvement will open the door to a governance committee. I was told that they would periodically email me and let me know any changes that were coming about. I sent BFH a few emails outlining situations with kids with the intent of trying to open him to some of the issues that we face. None were disrespectful or intimidating.
We had two students enroll with low reading scores and I wanted to put in reading interventions. I emailed BFH and his colleague to ask for an update on what the district was doing to help our school. All hell broke loose at this time. BFH showed up at our school and pulled me from a staff meeting to chastise me over emails that I had sent. He also directed me to drop a student for non attendance. I was hesitant to do this as I think they stay on our roster until another school picks them up and I knew that his home school district was intent on him being with us. He then told me he would check into it and send me an email directing this with which I agreed. I then asked him for a reference letter. This was the third time I had asked for such letters. He never ever followed through.
The next day they posted a position for Director II of Assessment and Accountability. I went over to HR to go through applications for a math teacher and the Nepotistic was there. I was informed that a member of HR as well as district people would now sit on our committee. In addition, BFH and the Nepotistic had already done the paper cut and had chosen who to interview. This is different than any process we had used before. Nepotistic let me know that he would be sitting on the panel or bringing in someone from teacher Ed. I then had a conversation that I now regret. I went to the Nepotistic to discuss my job status. He let me know that at that point there were no signs that I would not be rehired. I told him about how I felt harassed by BFH and that I had documentation on him. I also let him know that in my opinion BFH had never cared for me and that my opinion was that he felt intimidated by me and my knowledge of school runnings.
I then inquired about the Director position and Nepotistic told me they were looking for someone with data experience. Secretary asked me what was going on as she had never seen this happen before. She also let me know that I was the best principal she had encountered at School One. Nepotistic listened and later shared all that I had to say with BFH. So much for confidentiality.
I took off the next day and went to my sister’s wedding. Called in with a headache when in reality I just needed to get ready. This got HR moving. They ordered me a new chair from our ergonomic study. HA. At least I know I can make them dance.
After I got back we had a LEAP meeting and this was to discuss the process of the alternative governance committee. I was quite reticent, mainly with the fact that Nepotistic II, queen bee, was making decisions without even being on our campus. I did feel the need to support the teachers and this is what I did . We brainstormed strengths and weaknesses and then we moved on. I showed myself that day a bit as I was frustrated. Old school was mentioned again as was a comment from BFH regarding the fact that he had had a long conversation with HR. Nepotistic II made the comment that we were warehousing kids and not teaching them. That was the only time I went through the ceiling.
That was more of the downhill slide. I applied for the position of Director and then after some thought decided to pull out. Instead of leaving well enough alone, Nepotistic called me to make sure that I wanted to do this. That left me with doubt, the eternal optimist, that there may be a role left for me there after all. I have moved around a lot and I really did not want to make another move unless I had to.
After a week end of thought, I put myself back in the paper cut. I also that week had a chance to spend some time with friends from a previous district where I used to work. This was a good reminder of how it feels to work with a group which respects you.
The interview panel for director was quite a mix. Nepotistic II and Boss from Hell. Learning II, one I consider to be fair, Nepotistic, who I wanted so much to trust and found out he is a cad, S, BFH’s previous as principal, Mentor I, my previous mentor and BFH’s previous boss.
I interviewed for the position of director. Did not get in the second round. The Nepotist said I did a good performance. Other comments: good interview, evident how much you care for the kids, good interview, good luck on that doctorate. I did all of the right things. Thanked BFH for the interview and let him know that I know it is tough to pass over someone in the organization for someone outside. Extended my hand. It pained him to shake my hand and he would not look me in the eye. Once again , I feel sorry that he has to demean someone else to make himself look good.
I had a conversation with Nepotist that day. He let me know that the two finalists had experience bringing schools out of PI. I can live with that, I asked if they were men or women as BFH likes to put men in positions of leadership. Nepotist let me know that he could not tell me that. I asked him why he did not just leave well enough alone. He said it was his job to call me back like that. I let him know I had applied in another district, which he later shared with BFH.
I did all of the right things. Thanked the panelists. Let them know I would work with the director, and all of the right things. While I was waiting for results from the interview. I attended the Datawise Conference with district colleagues and had a wonderful experience.
In the meantime, things went on at my school. After the conversations, I attended a LEAP meeting last week that was a mess as they rescheduled and did not communicate the intent too well. I have continued to work with our teachers on curriculum and instruction, and now assessment, and we are moving in a good direction.
At the principals meeting, one other principal made the mistake of bringing up teachers who meet the socioeconomic needs of kids as well as their academic needs. BFH as usual responded aggressively and in a threatening manner. I attempted to support the other principal and BFH threw his head around and sighed out loud. It was very evident that he was disturbed. In fact, this is how I can still make him dance. BFH later brought the superintendent to the branch meeting because it was at my school. I also saw this same behavior recently during a meeting with BFH and Dean Two when I mentioned that I told teachers not to break up fights.
I had been asked previously to discuss datawise at our next meeting. When we brought up the topic, the other attendees did a great job of putting things in perspective. I asked for the floor and saw the glances exchanged between BFH and the supt. amazing how I can get their goat so easily. I made sure to make the comment light and appreciative.
After the meeting BFH wanted to meet with Dean Two and me. Dean Two was busy so I took this opportunity to discuss with BFH my status with the organization. He then let me know that it would be politically incorrect to keep me as principal that it was politically incorrect to put me in the Director’s position, that he knew I was not interested in being a principal and that he did not think I had a vested interest in School One. He also let me know that I had no rights and that he would be happy to write me a reference letter and let me out of my contract if I found something else. I brought up how disposable people seemed to be at DISTRICT and he compared me to a teacher that I was considering not rehiring. He let me know that there were some moments when I did some good things, but that for the most part he gave me an extra year to try to make it. He also let me know that he did not want teachers coming to him next week and going off because I was not being rehired. He once again accused me of being too interested in caretaking and that he wanted something new and innovative. He also spoke about the director and said he was afraid that I could not work side by side with this person. He never looked me in the eye and he talked to the air. Earlier that day, at the principal’s meeting, he referred to me as the “site administrator” when he was discussing School One. He said that he could not see any place in DISTRICT that I would have a chance to get a job. He also said that he could not speak to reorganization in reference to Dean Two and Dean Three.
I left the conversation by explaining clearly that I did not want to leave DISTRICT and that I would look for another job under duress.
Since then I have told a number of people about the job demise. My secretary, his secretary, our attendance clerk, the counselor and two deans. I also shared with someone in curriculum and instruction and one of my supt mentors. I have not yet told the teachers but will do so when I get my reference letter. I have been advised to check for ACSA for my rights and know that I do not want to stay there if I am not wanted. I can look back at three incidents where he tried to hold me under for fear that I would get too much attention from others: superintendent, student services meeting, and the WASC luncheon. I wonder how he and Woman Hater I will cover for this with the Board as I know I am very well regarded by them.
DISTRICT has a history of doing this. Most people are shocked. He does not receive positive reviews from people who are not from his previous district. He is a jerk, a narcissus, insensitive, and a power monger. People see him this way and he will fall and fall hard. I do not have to do anything now except take care of myself. I feel bad for Dean Two because he is falling right into the trap and I am afraid he will come out with a short stick. I hope not and his wife will make it work for him.
If I had it to do over and had still taken this job, this is what I would have done. Kept Dean One and never brought Dean Two over. Hired a counselor from the beginning who could have helped with the kids, and not done any favors. I cannot do favors or take care of people anymore. Dean Two is a nice guy but I erred when I tried to play fair and give him a spot. I do not want this to end negatively. All will fall where it falls. BFH will survive, I will survive, and the staff will land on their feet.
I would suggest to female teachers or leaders to beware and I would suggest to administrator there to play the game. I have no respect for Woman Hater I, Boss from Hell, or WHater II as they are all good ole boys who throw women away in a heartbeat. Nothing worse to me. Gloria Alfred, here I come
I will survive. I will find a good therapist. Find a good job. And I will continue to help kids and teachers be the best that they can be. Wake up call to me to take care o myself and not let my idealism get in the way. Brutus betrayed Caesar and fell himself. I hope Dean Two has the maturity to see past this and not fall into the mix, but I will not save him this time.
November 21, 2010
Well, the last two years of my life have been pretty tough but I am not going to let them get me down. The last two years have been my opportunity to experience the boss from hell. I was hired to take over a struggling school in July of 2008. I originally turned down the offer and probably should have followed my gut at that time and let it go. But I did not. I have had a pretty good career, but do find that API scores and being a principal is not my thing. I will be probably moving out of that mode in the next job.
When I started there they had just run out the last principal. Principals usually make it there for about two years before they run them out and put someone else in. One district regime was on the outs and another was coming in which also could have been my first indication to stay put. But I took the chance mainly because I hated the weather in the district I was currently working in as principal. I also took a bit of a pay cut and ended up having to work more days in the school year. Looking back it was all of a kind of bad move.
I guess I kind of play a victim or so I am finding because I do tend to attract bullies. I think this is because I am pretty nice and compliant and do my job and advocate for teachers. It pisses off those who like the command and control mode. I also have a lot of experience and tend to intimidate people.
Boss from hell came into my life after the man who hired me left. My first opportunity to meet him was at a party in December of 2008. This of course was hosted by the current other BFHII. Boss from hell has no compassion. He is from a poor home and is a fighter and has very little class. No compassion. He wants to make kids “tough” and he is a strong advocate for vocational ed. Blue collar all the way, boss from hell is a climber. He is narcissistic and he would walk on anyone to get what he wants. He prides himself on being a scrapper. Lives for winners and losers and hates women in administration. He took some time for us at the party and then was whisked out by his wife. I have heard that his wife rules the roost which is probably why he is so power hungry. She probably emasculates him regularly.
Our next meeting came during Christmas break that year. He came into my office and his look of disgust was apparent. His distaste for me, my office, and my style was very evident. BFH wants a sleek, innovative, and streamlined process. I was there once too. Until I realized that you have to have a balance. I am overweight and that day was wearing jeans as I was cleaning out files. I anticipated that he would take a chance to get to know me, see where I had been, and talk about goals. Nope. BFH could have cared less about what I brought to the table. He came to let me know what his plans were. I immediately knew that this relationship was not going to work. BFH had his agenda set and it had nothing to do with meeting people where they were.
BFH then took off and that was the beginning of the end for me. Our next encounter that I remember was during a branch meeting. He was pontificating as he usually does and letting us know that the supt wanted the teachers in dress code. His tone is cool. He talks down to us, and he does not impress me at all. Probably because he has no use for me and never did. I have read that during mobbing incidents, the scapegoat becomes almost invisible. That was BFH’s desire I think. That day I asked a question about dress code and he lost his cool. That was the end of our relationship for me. I discussed my distaste with his style with A colleague who later went right to him and shared the conversation. My mistake, do not trust anyone.
Our next incident occurred one day when we had a fight at school. I was home with a broken water heater and we had an incident which involved an employee hitting a student. He came unglued with me the next day. Never mind that I was not even there, or that the employees involved made wrong choices or that the ones involved were ones I had inherited from previous administration. It was my fault and I was at fault. Somewhere in here he also went off on my for my leadership and made me discuss which teachers were ineffective and let me know that he wanted me to put in writing each teacher and what I was going to do with them. I was appalled that he would take such a Woman Hater Id. Not to discuss it and problem solve about any issues, but that he wanted me to put it in writing. I let him know then that I did not feel any sense of trust with him or with his regime and that I would finish the year and then move on. He then backpedaled and sent me an email and let me know that he and the supt were totally in synch with me and so that was the end of that.
For awhile after that, things went well. I know that the supt also does not approve of my looks or my actions or me in general. He is divorced, had an affair, dumped both the wife and the mistress, and is pretty narcissist. Talks a lot of stuff but does not seem to follow through. They all seem to think women are pretty disposable. Also, Woman Hater II, head of another organization, who I really liked at first, found out he is the same way. If I knew the truth, he has probably been banging Victim II and Victim I, now is divorced and will probably throw both of them to the side. Just a perception of course.
I met Mentor I as my mentor later that year. After I had had a talk with another lady in the curriculum office who intimated that I needed to fight for my job. So Mentor I became my mentor. We had nice talks. She was BFH’s boss and I am sure that some of our conversations made it to him. As long as she was in the picture BFH was excited because now he had the right person on the bus. Suddenly all went well.
We had a situation in December of 2009 which could have been prevented. We had a couple of students ready to fight and Dean Two jumped in and it ended up being a mob situation. I was not at work as I admit that I find it tough to get to work before 8am so that is my fault. BFH came over (later I found out that an office worker told him he had to go. He had something planned with his wife). We went into instant mode on the fight and got the kids off campus. One student who is quite unpredictable told BFH to fuck off. Oh boy, that did not go well. I got a long memo on that one which was not signed and went to both my dean and secretary before it came to me and I know it was his rantings as he cannot sit down and have a diplomatic conversation. BFH prides himself on knowing how to deal with our student population and I am sure was quite embarrassed when the kid told him to F off. I was at fault for not being there although I know that I could not have stopped something that five men could not have prevented.
My pride and my eagerness to move up also got in my way during this situation. BFH was looking for a way to move out my colleague, A colleague, who was not performing well at our other school. I suggested to him that he could have one principal over both schools, an asst principal and a dean. He suddenly decided this was the case. At this time I allowed BFH to make me principal of two schools and to not take extra money for this. I did this to support the organization and this was the first time I talked with him about moving out of the principalship and into a new job. A conversation which was used against me later.
BFH put Dean Three in the job at School Two, screwed Dean Two out of a job increase, and put me in as principal of both schools. It was at this time that things really started to deteriorate. BGH wanted me to be principal but let me know that, “HE did not want me anywhere near that school”, and that “I was to stay clear of Dean Three”. That was fine and dandy until June 15 when I had to cover there because A colleague went off on a vacation and Dean Three had no days left. BFH then wanted me there to cover the school and at this point it was ok for me to be there.
He is a user and an abuser and a screamer. People are disposable to him. He knows how to build his factions to make the bullying work and he will fall and fall hard some day. Have seen it happen now to another who was in this boat. BFH has no balls, has no confidence in his ability to make decisions, and does not know what he is doing. He would never put himself out to help teachers, he hates teachers in fact, and he would never put himself out to help a principal. Barks a lot and does not have a leadership bone in his body. He is really scared and insecure and in some ways I feel sorry for him. (Cant believe I said that)
So then, soon after that, I took over both jobs. Took my time during the summer to train both deans so they could take over as principals. BFH and I had words a couple of times. He pounded his fist on the table and let me know that he was not going to give me more money. He also told me that he would “tell you this one more time and see if you get it”. Rather disrespectful I would say. Problem is, I have no respect for him. He knows nothing about leadership, building a sustainable organization, or how to really build a place that works for kids. Instead it is all about breaking down to rebuild and stomping on people along the way. I guess it is differences in style, but I know that the superintendents with longevity that I have met all talk about the importance of building relationships and meeting people at their level.
While I was running two schools during the summer with no other administrative support, I also was facilitating curriculum writing with teachers from four schools. This after I had brought Learning I into the district and helped process this. Other things that I did accomplish during my time with BFH: instituted awards ceremonies at School One, student of the week, set the framework for fifteen credits per quarter, pyramid of interventions for SARB, in school suspension, power writing, mapped core curriculum, approval of new textbooks, mapped ELL curriculum, created ROP survey class, middle school social skills class, facilitated mapping of independent study curriculum, Open House, healed relationships with districts in County, new student orientation, Progressive discipline.
I worked pretty hard to bring it all to a head in the summer, in fact even working on my vacation so I could have it ready for August 20. He left me alone all summer and also during the time that I fell in May and had to take three weeks off work. All was well until the API scores came out in early September.
That is when things got really tight. Not sure if it was because the scores came down and they decided to get rid of me, or if they finally had an excuse to move me out. I talked with the staff about the scores dipping and they wanted to meet with him. This resulted in the BIG meeting with BFH and his colleague. They accused us of warehousing kids, trying to save them, and not teaching them. I took the responsibility for the scores dipping and let them know that I was not happy being a principal and that I could not be a principal and a curriculum director. I also upheld Boss from Hell at this point and let her know that he did not make me do the curriculum. In addition, I brought up the fact that when we tried to send students back, BFH intervened and usurped my decision making. I also let them know that I could do one job or the other but not both and that if anyone was responsible for trying to save kids it was me. That would could make it through the rest of the year and then see where we ended up. It was a very heated meeting and I probably said too much, but it was real and I am done playing games with them and covering for him.
Also, BFH and I had two other conflicts> I pressed him because he would not get us and SRO and and as he said, “Held his feet to the fire’ to get an answer as to his intent. The other time was when a special ed parent threw a fit because she had to wait for an IEP and he questioned our orientation process. He and I went around and round about this one and I finally told him that if he wanted to change it to let us know what he wanted and we would do so. He also questioned the use of Ima to work with Latino parents and at this time I knew he had no clue to the importance of building relationships during orientation.
He has also accused me of being old school and trying to save kids.
So back to the meeting with BFHII. They ended the meeting by telling me to push the hold button on any changes and to let the committee take over. Program Improvement will open the door to a governance committee. I was told that they would periodically email me and let me know any changes that were coming about. I sent BFH a few emails outlining situations with kids with the intent of trying to open him to some of the issues that we face. None were disrespectful or intimidating.
We had two students enroll with low reading scores and I wanted to put in reading interventions. I emailed BFH and his colleague to ask for an update on what the district was doing to help our school. All hell broke loose at this time. BFH showed up at our school and pulled me from a staff meeting to chastise me over emails that I had sent. He also directed me to drop a student for non attendance. I was hesitant to do this as I think they stay on our roster until another school picks them up and I knew that his home school district was intent on him being with us. He then told me he would check into it and send me an email directing this with which I agreed. I then asked him for a reference letter. This was the third time I had asked for such letters. He never ever followed through.
The next day they posted a position for Director II of Assessment and Accountability. I went over to HR to go through applications for a math teacher and the Nepotistic was there. I was informed that a member of HR as well as district people would now sit on our committee. In addition, BFH and the Nepotistic had already done the paper cut and had chosen who to interview. This is different than any process we had used before. Nepotistic let me know that he would be sitting on the panel or bringing in someone from teacher Ed. I then had a conversation that I now regret. I went to the Nepotistic to discuss my job status. He let me know that at that point there were no signs that I would not be rehired. I told him about how I felt harassed by BFH and that I had documentation on him. I also let him know that in my opinion BFH had never cared for me and that my opinion was that he felt intimidated by me and my knowledge of school runnings.
I then inquired about the Director position and Nepotistic told me they were looking for someone with data experience. Secretary asked me what was going on as she had never seen this happen before. She also let me know that I was the best principal she had encountered at School One. Nepotistic listened and later shared all that I had to say with BFH. So much for confidentiality.
I took off the next day and went to my sister’s wedding. Called in with a headache when in reality I just needed to get ready. This got HR moving. They ordered me a new chair from our ergonomic study. HA. At least I know I can make them dance.
After I got back we had a LEAP meeting and this was to discuss the process of the alternative governance committee. I was quite reticent, mainly with the fact that Nepotistic II, queen bee, was making decisions without even being on our campus. I did feel the need to support the teachers and this is what I did . We brainstormed strengths and weaknesses and then we moved on. I showed myself that day a bit as I was frustrated. Old school was mentioned again as was a comment from BFH regarding the fact that he had had a long conversation with HR. Nepotistic II made the comment that we were warehousing kids and not teaching them. That was the only time I went through the ceiling.
That was more of the downhill slide. I applied for the position of Director and then after some thought decided to pull out. Instead of leaving well enough alone, Nepotistic called me to make sure that I wanted to do this. That left me with doubt, the eternal optimist, that there may be a role left for me there after all. I have moved around a lot and I really did not want to make another move unless I had to.
After a week end of thought, I put myself back in the paper cut. I also that week had a chance to spend some time with friends from a previous district where I used to work. This was a good reminder of how it feels to work with a group which respects you.
The interview panel for director was quite a mix. Nepotistic II and Boss from Hell. Learning II, one I consider to be fair, Nepotistic, who I wanted so much to trust and found out he is a cad, S, BFH’s previous as principal, Mentor I, my previous mentor and BFH’s previous boss.
I interviewed for the position of director. Did not get in the second round. The Nepotist said I did a good performance. Other comments: good interview, evident how much you care for the kids, good interview, good luck on that doctorate. I did all of the right things. Thanked BFH for the interview and let him know that I know it is tough to pass over someone in the organization for someone outside. Extended my hand. It pained him to shake my hand and he would not look me in the eye. Once again , I feel sorry that he has to demean someone else to make himself look good.
I had a conversation with Nepotist that day. He let me know that the two finalists had experience bringing schools out of PI. I can live with that, I asked if they were men or women as BFH likes to put men in positions of leadership. Nepotist let me know that he could not tell me that. I asked him why he did not just leave well enough alone. He said it was his job to call me back like that. I let him know I had applied in another district, which he later shared with BFH.
I did all of the right things. Thanked the panelists. Let them know I would work with the director, and all of the right things. While I was waiting for results from the interview. I attended the Datawise Conference with district colleagues and had a wonderful experience.
In the meantime, things went on at my school. After the conversations, I attended a LEAP meeting last week that was a mess as they rescheduled and did not communicate the intent too well. I have continued to work with our teachers on curriculum and instruction, and now assessment, and we are moving in a good direction.
At the principals meeting, one other principal made the mistake of bringing up teachers who meet the socioeconomic needs of kids as well as their academic needs. BFH as usual responded aggressively and in a threatening manner. I attempted to support the other principal and BFH threw his head around and sighed out loud. It was very evident that he was disturbed. In fact, this is how I can still make him dance. BFH later brought the superintendent to the branch meeting because it was at my school. I also saw this same behavior recently during a meeting with BFH and Dean Two when I mentioned that I told teachers not to break up fights.
I had been asked previously to discuss datawise at our next meeting. When we brought up the topic, the other attendees did a great job of putting things in perspective. I asked for the floor and saw the glances exchanged between BFH and the supt. amazing how I can get their goat so easily. I made sure to make the comment light and appreciative.
After the meeting BFH wanted to meet with Dean Two and me. Dean Two was busy so I took this opportunity to discuss with BFH my status with the organization. He then let me know that it would be politically incorrect to keep me as principal that it was politically incorrect to put me in the Director’s position, that he knew I was not interested in being a principal and that he did not think I had a vested interest in School One. He also let me know that I had no rights and that he would be happy to write me a reference letter and let me out of my contract if I found something else. I brought up how disposable people seemed to be at DISTRICT and he compared me to a teacher that I was considering not rehiring. He let me know that there were some moments when I did some good things, but that for the most part he gave me an extra year to try to make it. He also let me know that he did not want teachers coming to him next week and going off because I was not being rehired. He once again accused me of being too interested in caretaking and that he wanted something new and innovative. He also spoke about the director and said he was afraid that I could not work side by side with this person. He never looked me in the eye and he talked to the air. Earlier that day, at the principal’s meeting, he referred to me as the “site administrator” when he was discussing School One. He said that he could not see any place in DISTRICT that I would have a chance to get a job. He also said that he could not speak to reorganization in reference to Dean Two and Dean Three.
I left the conversation by explaining clearly that I did not want to leave DISTRICT and that I would look for another job under duress.
Since then I have told a number of people about the job demise. My secretary, his secretary, our attendance clerk, the counselor and two deans. I also shared with someone in curriculum and instruction and one of my supt mentors. I have not yet told the teachers but will do so when I get my reference letter. I have been advised to check for ACSA for my rights and know that I do not want to stay there if I am not wanted. I can look back at three incidents where he tried to hold me under for fear that I would get too much attention from others: superintendent, student services meeting, and the WASC luncheon. I wonder how he and Woman Hater I will cover for this with the Board as I know I am very well regarded by them.
DISTRICT has a history of doing this. Most people are shocked. He does not receive positive reviews from people who are not from his previous district. He is a jerk, a narcissus, insensitive, and a power monger. People see him this way and he will fall and fall hard. I do not have to do anything now except take care of myself. I feel bad for Dean Two because he is falling right into the trap and I am afraid he will come out with a short stick. I hope not and his wife will make it work for him.
If I had it to do over and had still taken this job, this is what I would have done. Kept Dean One and never brought Dean Two over. Hired a counselor from the beginning who could have helped with the kids, and not done any favors. I cannot do favors or take care of people anymore. Dean Two is a nice guy but I erred when I tried to play fair and give him a spot. I do not want this to end negatively. All will fall where it falls. BFH will survive, I will survive, and the staff will land on their feet.
I would suggest to female teachers or leaders to beware and I would suggest to administrator there to play the game. I have no respect for Woman Hater I, Boss from Hell, or WHater II as they are all good ole boys who throw women away in a heartbeat. Nothing worse to me. Gloria Alfred, here I come
I will survive. I will find a good therapist. Find a good job. And I will continue to help kids and teachers be the best that they can be. Wake up call to me to take care o myself and not let my idealism get in the way. Brutus betrayed Caesar and fell himself. I hope Dean Two has the maturity to see past this and not fall into the mix, but I will not save him this time.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Sarah
Sarah Rohlfing has made a difference in the world. When Sarah Rohlfing was born, I loved her from the beginning. Sarah is my niece and she has made a difference for me.
Sarah Rohlfing was born on May 13, 1995. She is the only daughter of my brother Chris and his wife Kim. Sarah is beautiful with long dark hair and a sweet and pleasing personality. She is in 9th grade and has a lot of friends, does well in school, and is the apple of my eye.
I bought Sarah her first dress for the 4th of July the year she was born. Then I finally got to meet her on Christmas of 1995. She was there at the airport, wearing a crocheted white sweater and it was love at first site. I brought her a Santa hat and made her a bib and she had a cute little outfit on.
Her growing up years were so special. I always looked out for her and loved to buy her gifts. I spent the summer she was one in Ventura so i got to see a lot of her growing up years. Family dinners and Christmases. We went to Aunt Dorothy's to do Easter Eggs and Christmas Cookies and she and I took Sarah and Alena to the park.
When her brother was born I learned to split my love and my time between both kids. I went to Sarah's first grade and helped them plant a garden and I went to Mrs. Merritt's class and helped in the classroom. I left St. Louis a day early to attend her Christmas program at school and was there when she graduated from fifith grade.
Their family came to visit in St. Louis and we went bowling and I stayed with Sarah and Jared while their parents went to the ballgame. We named the squirrel outside my door Knocker and we had a lot of fun. One of my favorite videos they have of Sarah is at Grandma Lela's during that trip. Grandma is playing the piano and Sarah is dancing in a circle.
We have had birthday parties and she rode all the way from IL with me when I moved back to CA. We went through a two year stage when both kids would come over for a visit and stay with me and we would play and swim and hang out. She has her cousins, her friend Delaney and had her friend Danielle for a long time.
Sarah is a good girl She is fun and funny. She and my sister look and talk so much alike that sometimes you cannot tell which is which. Sarah is good at heart and solid, strong, and very mcuh loved by her parents and her brother. Not to mention the aunts, uncles and grandmas as well as cousins.
Sarah Rohlfing is not pretentious, is sweet and kind but a real kid, and is smart. She wants to be a nurse when she grows up and she does well in school. Sarah Rohlfing has and always will make a difference in my life.
Post Date 2013- Sarah is now in college and working all of the time. She is going into criminal justice and drives her truck all around town. Making great grades. She is fun, funny, and a hard worker who also knows how to have fun. I love her more than life itself and am proud to be her aunt. She is smart and has strong values, a good sense of humor, and is strong.
Sarah Rohlfing was born on May 13, 1995. She is the only daughter of my brother Chris and his wife Kim. Sarah is beautiful with long dark hair and a sweet and pleasing personality. She is in 9th grade and has a lot of friends, does well in school, and is the apple of my eye.
I bought Sarah her first dress for the 4th of July the year she was born. Then I finally got to meet her on Christmas of 1995. She was there at the airport, wearing a crocheted white sweater and it was love at first site. I brought her a Santa hat and made her a bib and she had a cute little outfit on.
Her growing up years were so special. I always looked out for her and loved to buy her gifts. I spent the summer she was one in Ventura so i got to see a lot of her growing up years. Family dinners and Christmases. We went to Aunt Dorothy's to do Easter Eggs and Christmas Cookies and she and I took Sarah and Alena to the park.
When her brother was born I learned to split my love and my time between both kids. I went to Sarah's first grade and helped them plant a garden and I went to Mrs. Merritt's class and helped in the classroom. I left St. Louis a day early to attend her Christmas program at school and was there when she graduated from fifith grade.
Their family came to visit in St. Louis and we went bowling and I stayed with Sarah and Jared while their parents went to the ballgame. We named the squirrel outside my door Knocker and we had a lot of fun. One of my favorite videos they have of Sarah is at Grandma Lela's during that trip. Grandma is playing the piano and Sarah is dancing in a circle.
We have had birthday parties and she rode all the way from IL with me when I moved back to CA. We went through a two year stage when both kids would come over for a visit and stay with me and we would play and swim and hang out. She has her cousins, her friend Delaney and had her friend Danielle for a long time.
Sarah is a good girl She is fun and funny. She and my sister look and talk so much alike that sometimes you cannot tell which is which. Sarah is good at heart and solid, strong, and very mcuh loved by her parents and her brother. Not to mention the aunts, uncles and grandmas as well as cousins.
Sarah Rohlfing is not pretentious, is sweet and kind but a real kid, and is smart. She wants to be a nurse when she grows up and she does well in school. Sarah Rohlfing has and always will make a difference in my life.
Post Date 2013- Sarah is now in college and working all of the time. She is going into criminal justice and drives her truck all around town. Making great grades. She is fun, funny, and a hard worker who also knows how to have fun. I love her more than life itself and am proud to be her aunt. She is smart and has strong values, a good sense of humor, and is strong.
Mom
My top 365 includes my Mom, Lois Rohlfing. My Mom was born in Illinois. She was the third of five children. My Mom and I have enjoyed a positive relationship in our adult lives.
My Mom likes Bill O Reilly and loves to watch Fox News and Lifetime movies. She was widowed at an early age and keeps her feelings pretty much to herself. Recently on Facebook many of us commented on our memories of the day My dad died. She was left with some kids and some raising to do after that happened.
She did her best. I think my mom is the most fun when she is going out to eat or shopping. She is a mom. She did not pursue a career as most women of her generation did not. She was good to my grandma and had friends. She did not remarry after my dad died and her Al was the great love of her life in widowhood. My mom like to buy jewelry and she likes to spend time with her grandkids. She will be 80 years old this year and she is still healthy and doing well. She listens to my moaning and groaning and she is fun to hang out with.
Some of my best memories of my Mom are when I broke my arm and she came over and took care of me. We had fun. Watched movies and she was very supportive. I also remember the time she moved to California and I drove her. We stopped at Custer's Battlefield and many other places along the way. After her official retirement she obtained her police badge as a citizen cop. She still has it. She also worked part time at the theatre in Ventura and met lots of stars. My Mom worked part time for years at the Funeral Home as the hostess and the secretary. She did there what she does best. She talks to people and helped them feel better.
One of my favorite pictures of my Mom is when she and my Dad were out at the Fireman's Ball in Vandalia and she is in a pretty yellow ball gown and white gloves and holding up a cigar. I am sad for her that he died so young because I think they had a lot of fun together.
My Mom is strong and was able to persevere after my Dad's death. She moved to California at the age of 55 and started a new life over. She manages to make it work. She is kind to her neighbors and she loves her kids and grandkids. She is a role model for her strength and her perseverance. Be it Days of our Lives or Facebook, she is keeping up with the new trends and staying current with what is going on in the world.
She did her best. I think my mom is the most fun when she is going out to eat or shopping. She is a mom. She did not pursue a career as most women of her generation did not. She was good to my grandma and had friends. She did not remarry after my dad died and her Al was the great love of her life in widowhood. My mom like to buy jewelry and she likes to spend time with her grandkids. She will be 80 years old this year and she is still healthy and doing well. She listens to my moaning and groaning and she is fun to hang out with.
Some of my best memories of my Mom are when I broke my arm and she came over and took care of me. We had fun. Watched movies and she was very supportive. I also remember the time she moved to California and I drove her. We stopped at Custer's Battlefield and many other places along the way. After her official retirement she obtained her police badge as a citizen cop. She still has it. She also worked part time at the theatre in Ventura and met lots of stars. My Mom worked part time for years at the Funeral Home as the hostess and the secretary. She did there what she does best. She talks to people and helped them feel better.
One of my favorite pictures of my Mom is when she and my Dad were out at the Fireman's Ball in Vandalia and she is in a pretty yellow ball gown and white gloves and holding up a cigar. I am sad for her that he died so young because I think they had a lot of fun together.
My Mom is strong and was able to persevere after my Dad's death. She moved to California at the age of 55 and started a new life over. She manages to make it work. She is kind to her neighbors and she loves her kids and grandkids. She is a role model for her strength and her perseverance. Be it Days of our Lives or Facebook, she is keeping up with the new trends and staying current with what is going on in the world.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Aunt Dorothy
Aunt Dorothy Cheshier is another person who makes a difference. She was born in Montana and married my Uncle Cecil when she was sixteen. Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Cecil moved to California in the 1940's which is where they raised their three children. Aunt Dorothy makes a difference because she always was there for me for years when I needed support. She and Uncle Cecil were like parents to me, reaching out and taking me in and loving me so much.
But Aunt Dorothy did not just make a difference for me. She made a difference for many of the cousins in our family. She was the one who always sent cool gifts and gave such good support. She opened her home to many of us to live when we wanted to get started in California. She kept in touch with people and kept everyone connected. In addition, Aunt Dorothy loved my Grandma and would call her every
Tuesday.
Aunt Dorothy was fun too. She was fun to shop with and lots of fun to gossip with. She was also kind of opinonated and Uncle Cecil called her Norma Rae sometimes. She was positive and fun and was always there. Aunt Dorothy made a difference in my life because she took me under her wing and helped me through some really tough times. She reached out to me and she made me chicken soup and jello when I was sick and always told me how pretty I was and that I was not too fat and was important. She was instrumental in changing my perception about myself and pushing me to be my best.
Not a total cheerleader, she had opinions too and would let me know when I crossed the line.
Aunt Dorothy and my mom had a really jealous relationship and to this day I cannot determine which one fed the fire the most. I was often the subject of the tug of war between them and finally just deflated the last few years of Aunt Dorothy's life.
At her funeral in January of 2010, I saw pictures and spent time in her house and was reminded of the love and the specialness that she gave to me. She definitely made a difference in my life and the lives of others by her love, her gifts, her phone calls, and her cheerleading personality when times are down.
Regrets? I have a couple. Mainly that I did not spend enough time with her in the past couple of years and that I quite probably hurt her by my distance.
But this is about Aunt Dorothy, not me. She loved red. She loved to eat at Yolanda's in Ventura. She worked for years at the Broadway in the office. She watched the stock market show. She loved her grandkids and all of the cousins. She would stand up for what she thought was right, was a feminist in her own way, loved to shop and loved to talk and spend time with others.
Aunt Dorothy was my special sage and I will love her forever for this as will many members of the Lockart family.
But Aunt Dorothy did not just make a difference for me. She made a difference for many of the cousins in our family. She was the one who always sent cool gifts and gave such good support. She opened her home to many of us to live when we wanted to get started in California. She kept in touch with people and kept everyone connected. In addition, Aunt Dorothy loved my Grandma and would call her every
Tuesday.
Aunt Dorothy was fun too. She was fun to shop with and lots of fun to gossip with. She was also kind of opinonated and Uncle Cecil called her Norma Rae sometimes. She was positive and fun and was always there. Aunt Dorothy made a difference in my life because she took me under her wing and helped me through some really tough times. She reached out to me and she made me chicken soup and jello when I was sick and always told me how pretty I was and that I was not too fat and was important. She was instrumental in changing my perception about myself and pushing me to be my best.
Not a total cheerleader, she had opinions too and would let me know when I crossed the line.
Aunt Dorothy and my mom had a really jealous relationship and to this day I cannot determine which one fed the fire the most. I was often the subject of the tug of war between them and finally just deflated the last few years of Aunt Dorothy's life.
At her funeral in January of 2010, I saw pictures and spent time in her house and was reminded of the love and the specialness that she gave to me. She definitely made a difference in my life and the lives of others by her love, her gifts, her phone calls, and her cheerleading personality when times are down.
Regrets? I have a couple. Mainly that I did not spend enough time with her in the past couple of years and that I quite probably hurt her by my distance.
But this is about Aunt Dorothy, not me. She loved red. She loved to eat at Yolanda's in Ventura. She worked for years at the Broadway in the office. She watched the stock market show. She loved her grandkids and all of the cousins. She would stand up for what she thought was right, was a feminist in her own way, loved to shop and loved to talk and spend time with others.
Aunt Dorothy was my special sage and I will love her forever for this as will many members of the Lockart family.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Grandma
Number 1 is my Grandma, Lela Lockart. Talk about someone who made a difference in my life. Lela Lockart was born December 5, 1910. She married our grandpa when she was very young, 13 I believe. She and her mom and siblings lived in Arkansas and were pretty poor. Grandpa was twenty years older than her, a WW1 vet, and he pretty much took my Grandma at the request of her mom who could not take care of her. Some think that money was exchanged. We hope not, but nonetheless, she had her first three children by the age of 21. 15,18, and 21 I believe. Five children in all and they lived in Montana for a large part of their child years. My Mom was number three in the rotation.
They moved to Illinois where many Lockart relatives lived. Not only did my Grandma raise her five, she also parented two cousins. Her children, Roy, Dorothy, Lois, Jerry, and Mike, grew up with Vance and Jim Lockart as cousins but really as siblings.
That big farmhouse in Bluff City now belongs to my Uncle Jerry. The Farm.. that was how it was known. The farm saw many births, deaths, and priceless Christmas, Easter and family celebrations. All in all, Grandma was the center of it all. Dogs, cats, pigs, cows, a BIG garden every year. The milkhouse and the grainery.. the cistern and the root cellar. The big tree with the swing and the outhouse were all parts of our growing up years.
My Grandma was beautiful. She had soft, curly dark hair and the clearest, softest skin you can imagine. She always used Avon Vita? to soften her skin. She loved jewelry and the color red, hats, and nice clothes. She was so pretty. So loving, and so much a role model to me. She adored us. I knew and still know that there was an unconditional love from her that withstood any boundaries.
My Grandma was a hard worker. Not only did she raise all of the kids, she kept my Grandpa in check and although I don't remember him, I think he was pretty stubborn and opinionated. That side of the family had the red hair and the consitution to go along with it. She worked in restaurants for most of her life. My Grandpa died when I was four. My Uncle Mike, her son was ten. She was left to raise him by herself and I know it was tough on her.
My best memory of her as a child, one of many, was going to Robbins Restaurant with my Dad and my brother on Sunday mornings and eating breakfast. Grandma managed the kitchen and we would go back there and see her. It was so special to see her and sometimes she would sit down with us at the booth. Another great memory was when she would get up in the middle of the night and let me clean house. No matter what I wanted, she did it. She taught me to make pancakes and I would mix them up every week. I stayed at her house every week end until adolescence, and my Dad would come out and pick us up for church.
As I grew up, Grandma was still around and I became a teen ager too pre occupied to spend much time there. But as an adult, I had the privilege of spending time with her. Taking her to the eye doctor to get her cataracts out and spending the night at the Farm. Noticing that little trinkets I bought her when I was a child were still sitting on her wall. Watching her drive that big old boat car until she could no longer manuever it. She drove to California with me one year. We had a blast. One year we flew to California together and were bumped up to first class. We had a ball. Ate and drank all the way across the United States.
Grandma spent a lot of her later work years taking care of older people who could not care for themselves. Mrs. Allen, Mrs. Henry, Mrs. Goodson, Mrs. Marchman. She worked so hard. I don't know if she ever knew how much she was appreciated. She loved God. Sang in church. Preached at Luster Chapel when the travelling preacher could not make it. Shimmied up a ladder to fix a shingle and got stuck on the roof when the ladder blew away. Shimmied down the drain pipe to get down. She was about 88 then.
But she was a lady from all proportions. She expected good behavior from us and when I heard, "Tracy Dee" I knew I needed to straighten up. I could devote 365 pages to my Grandma, the memories are so good and her influence so strong.
And it wasn't just me. All of us were influenced by her. Have such good memories of the farm and her love. I think she has influenced me more than anyone in the world.
Her faith, her love, and her kindness. Her non judgemental attitude and her unconditional acceptance mean the world to me. She was funny too.
Grandma died last February 12, 2009. . She had a stroke and spent her last four years in a nursing home. Still had her hair done every week and wore pretty red clothes I am sure. She got sick on Monday and was put in the hospital. Her kidneys failed on Tuesday and she fell asleep. She died early Wednesday morning at 2:30am.
Being in California and her in Illinois was so hard because I did not want her to be alone when she died. We know God was there with her. Fortuneately she had plenty of family with her that last night. That night when I went to sleep I dreamed of Grandma what seemed all night. Her dancing in pretty red dress. Her but so little and sitting in a chair in a room above the First National Bank in Vandalia. Her dying and them bringing us the red dress. So weird because I felt like she was with me all night long. I woke up that morning and called the hospital in Vandalia to be told she had passed away in the night. That night was so special to me. Esoteric almost. I felt so close to her. But i was so sad to lose her.
She loved Jesus (Oral Roberts too) and hated the Lutheran Church because they sit and stand so much. Her funeral was that week. I did not go back for it because I did not want to deal with the family dynamics. I also think that I did not go to the funeral because I wanted to keep my special memory of her and that red dress.
Every year at Christmas I would send her a poinsetta on December 5 for her birthday and for the holiday season. This year I had to order a silk one and have it taken to her gravestone. She is buried there beside my Grandpa.
Lela Lockart is one of the greatest ladies I will ever know. She was strong and kind and I never saw her ever play the victim. Even when she was sick, she was still playing strong and making sure we were ok.
I could write forever about her. My Grandma, Lela Lockart, is the greatest lady I know and one of my top,, the top of the 365.
They moved to Illinois where many Lockart relatives lived. Not only did my Grandma raise her five, she also parented two cousins. Her children, Roy, Dorothy, Lois, Jerry, and Mike, grew up with Vance and Jim Lockart as cousins but really as siblings.
That big farmhouse in Bluff City now belongs to my Uncle Jerry. The Farm.. that was how it was known. The farm saw many births, deaths, and priceless Christmas, Easter and family celebrations. All in all, Grandma was the center of it all. Dogs, cats, pigs, cows, a BIG garden every year. The milkhouse and the grainery.. the cistern and the root cellar. The big tree with the swing and the outhouse were all parts of our growing up years.
My Grandma was beautiful. She had soft, curly dark hair and the clearest, softest skin you can imagine. She always used Avon Vita? to soften her skin. She loved jewelry and the color red, hats, and nice clothes. She was so pretty. So loving, and so much a role model to me. She adored us. I knew and still know that there was an unconditional love from her that withstood any boundaries.
My Grandma was a hard worker. Not only did she raise all of the kids, she kept my Grandpa in check and although I don't remember him, I think he was pretty stubborn and opinionated. That side of the family had the red hair and the consitution to go along with it. She worked in restaurants for most of her life. My Grandpa died when I was four. My Uncle Mike, her son was ten. She was left to raise him by herself and I know it was tough on her.
My best memory of her as a child, one of many, was going to Robbins Restaurant with my Dad and my brother on Sunday mornings and eating breakfast. Grandma managed the kitchen and we would go back there and see her. It was so special to see her and sometimes she would sit down with us at the booth. Another great memory was when she would get up in the middle of the night and let me clean house. No matter what I wanted, she did it. She taught me to make pancakes and I would mix them up every week. I stayed at her house every week end until adolescence, and my Dad would come out and pick us up for church.
As I grew up, Grandma was still around and I became a teen ager too pre occupied to spend much time there. But as an adult, I had the privilege of spending time with her. Taking her to the eye doctor to get her cataracts out and spending the night at the Farm. Noticing that little trinkets I bought her when I was a child were still sitting on her wall. Watching her drive that big old boat car until she could no longer manuever it. She drove to California with me one year. We had a blast. One year we flew to California together and were bumped up to first class. We had a ball. Ate and drank all the way across the United States.
Grandma spent a lot of her later work years taking care of older people who could not care for themselves. Mrs. Allen, Mrs. Henry, Mrs. Goodson, Mrs. Marchman. She worked so hard. I don't know if she ever knew how much she was appreciated. She loved God. Sang in church. Preached at Luster Chapel when the travelling preacher could not make it. Shimmied up a ladder to fix a shingle and got stuck on the roof when the ladder blew away. Shimmied down the drain pipe to get down. She was about 88 then.
But she was a lady from all proportions. She expected good behavior from us and when I heard, "Tracy Dee" I knew I needed to straighten up. I could devote 365 pages to my Grandma, the memories are so good and her influence so strong.
And it wasn't just me. All of us were influenced by her. Have such good memories of the farm and her love. I think she has influenced me more than anyone in the world.
Her faith, her love, and her kindness. Her non judgemental attitude and her unconditional acceptance mean the world to me. She was funny too.
Grandma died last February 12, 2009. . She had a stroke and spent her last four years in a nursing home. Still had her hair done every week and wore pretty red clothes I am sure. She got sick on Monday and was put in the hospital. Her kidneys failed on Tuesday and she fell asleep. She died early Wednesday morning at 2:30am.
Being in California and her in Illinois was so hard because I did not want her to be alone when she died. We know God was there with her. Fortuneately she had plenty of family with her that last night. That night when I went to sleep I dreamed of Grandma what seemed all night. Her dancing in pretty red dress. Her but so little and sitting in a chair in a room above the First National Bank in Vandalia. Her dying and them bringing us the red dress. So weird because I felt like she was with me all night long. I woke up that morning and called the hospital in Vandalia to be told she had passed away in the night. That night was so special to me. Esoteric almost. I felt so close to her. But i was so sad to lose her.
She loved Jesus (Oral Roberts too) and hated the Lutheran Church because they sit and stand so much. Her funeral was that week. I did not go back for it because I did not want to deal with the family dynamics. I also think that I did not go to the funeral because I wanted to keep my special memory of her and that red dress.
Every year at Christmas I would send her a poinsetta on December 5 for her birthday and for the holiday season. This year I had to order a silk one and have it taken to her gravestone. She is buried there beside my Grandpa.
Lela Lockart is one of the greatest ladies I will ever know. She was strong and kind and I never saw her ever play the victim. Even when she was sick, she was still playing strong and making sure we were ok.
I could write forever about her. My Grandma, Lela Lockart, is the greatest lady I know and one of my top,, the top of the 365.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Debbie
Nestled away in a small town in Illinois is a woman of extraordinary strength and character. Debbie grew up in our small town and has been a leader there ever since. With a solid family, three beautiful children, and a faith that surpasses none.
But what makes Debbie one if my top 365's is the influence she had on me. I came to work for three years at Vandalia Middle School. We were just transitioning to a middle school and I had just left my job of 12 years at Brownstown. Coming to work with a team was a new adventure for me and somewhat difficult I can admit now. I had always run solo and suddenly needed to work with four other people. Debbie kept the light going for us during that time. Debbie kept our eye on the prize.
Debbie is kind and funny. She at that time taught geography and science. My partner in crime in initiating an advisory program, we took kids to St. Louis to see a Christmas Carol, trekked to Ramsey State Park to have a two day camp out, and created Geographish, an interdisciplinary course in English and Geography. My best teaching days were at VMS. A great principal and great colleagues. Those were my last three years as a teacher and the most creative I could imagine.
But back to Debbie. Debbie has values and lives them every day. She is real. Cares about manatees and homeless and the people next door. She is always willing to lend a hand and offer a word of support. For her there is no holding back. She has no scarcity principle when it comes to giving to others of herself. I learned from Debbie the value of patience, kindness, and family. I learned from Debbie that being the best means being yourself and giving to others.
Debbie is a great teacher. She was a great colleague. But most importantly a great role model and person with value and principle. That is why Debbie is my first post of 365 people who make a difference in the world.
But what makes Debbie one if my top 365's is the influence she had on me. I came to work for three years at Vandalia Middle School. We were just transitioning to a middle school and I had just left my job of 12 years at Brownstown. Coming to work with a team was a new adventure for me and somewhat difficult I can admit now. I had always run solo and suddenly needed to work with four other people. Debbie kept the light going for us during that time. Debbie kept our eye on the prize.
Debbie is kind and funny. She at that time taught geography and science. My partner in crime in initiating an advisory program, we took kids to St. Louis to see a Christmas Carol, trekked to Ramsey State Park to have a two day camp out, and created Geographish, an interdisciplinary course in English and Geography. My best teaching days were at VMS. A great principal and great colleagues. Those were my last three years as a teacher and the most creative I could imagine.
But back to Debbie. Debbie has values and lives them every day. She is real. Cares about manatees and homeless and the people next door. She is always willing to lend a hand and offer a word of support. For her there is no holding back. She has no scarcity principle when it comes to giving to others of herself. I learned from Debbie the value of patience, kindness, and family. I learned from Debbie that being the best means being yourself and giving to others.
Debbie is a great teacher. She was a great colleague. But most importantly a great role model and person with value and principle. That is why Debbie is my first post of 365 people who make a difference in the world.
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