Healthy Before 60 Day Four

Well, I am keeping up with the journaling. Today was an ok day. I am kind of in a panic mode tonight. Scared about the future. Feel like someone is going to pull the rug out from under me. I think it is partially habit and partially due to no Roots. I am making roots. But I am in a situation where I try but I so feel like a fish out of water.

And I feel like these people who are so very immature and so green think they have the answers to all of the questions. And it is scary because I think they are being heard. Or maybe they want it to seem that way. I just feel like I want to climb up on the table and say,, let's go!!! Let's make some differences. Let's stop spinning and make some inroads.

I want a chance to do this. To move something along again. I think of all of the missed opportunities. And the posturing and the growth. Oh well, it is all relative. But today was ok.

I had protein drink for breakfast and some cookies. Probably about 500 calories.

Lunch: Chili and crackers and two slices of cheese.

Snack: A Tamale

Some candy

and then the craving for Chinese took over. I stopped at a new place and it was certainly not worth the calories. But i ate it anyway. There is nothing better than some good Chinese once in a while. I want to find some friends to have dinner with. Socialize. Exercise with. I miss my old step aerobic friends. We did not know how good we had it back then. It was special.

Dropped the gym and now I have to pay for three months. That sucks. Jazzercise is not even easy anymore. I need to start an exercise regime. I left work today at 4:00 and it was nice. I was home by 5:30. I like that. I am tired of being a workaholic and am not sure if I am appreciated. But I guess I am not there to be appreciated but to work.

It is just a sense of disturbance. It is either me or just fit. I just want a place where I can make a difference and really make some growth with a minor portion of pushback. Not sure that is ready for that. I think he is too invested right now in PSI and the posturing people. Not sure this is building longevity or sustainability. I am losing interest.

And Yon Cassius is waiting to pounce. And that is fine. I would rather go than stay even though I like the people. I am kind of tired of the coffee clache.

Oh well, this has nothing to do with me. I ordered Christmas presents. My mom is really struggling with her memory at times. I wish she could get out more. I think it would be good for her. Wish a job for my brother. For all intents and purposes, life is good. I should not ever complain.

And so we wait. And see what will happen between now and May. That is the guideline. And Roy Moore was defeated. I love it!!!! There is some justice for women!!!!!